B-school and relationships... : Business School Life

kryzak

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

18 Feb 2008, 01:32

nice! All I know right now is that Haas lets partners join all the student clubs (including the partner's club, of course

) and use the career services center only during the summer. I emailed the partner's club presidents to check if there are other perks like auditing classes, attending study trips, and anything else.

But Kellogg and Tuck definitely sounds pretty amazing in terms of what they offer to partners.

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

19 Feb 2008, 09:11

Quote:

note doesnt apply to internationals since visa issues make everyplace tough.

Not that bad, if partner has a H1b( u can apply for h1b even from outside ) -then he/she can definitely work for 6 years -One can always pursue further education if interested - as getting F1 once you are in USA is easy..

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

19 Feb 2008, 12:48

Ozmba wrote:

Quote:

note doesnt apply to internationals since visa issues make everyplace tough.

Not that bad, if partner has a H1b( u can apply for h1b even from outside ) -then he/she can definitely work for 6 years -One can always pursue further education if interested - as getting F1 once you are in USA is easy..

I have met a few students whose wives couldnt get visa's...the US immigration laws arent exactly the easiest thing to navigate. It definitely seems common for both to go for advanced degrees at the sametime. The wife of an alum I talked to from GSB went to northwestern for law, and a student at Tucks wife was in med school there. I think work definitely depends on the job though, we met a few people at Kellogg this weekend whose wives were lawyers in other countries but couldnt practice law in the US so that is tough.

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

04 Dec 2009, 00:01

Anyone on here going to be facing these issues once decision-making time comes soon? I could use some sage advice if anyone has it...

My situation: I'm 24, gf is 30. Dating for a year, overall going very well. But...

- We both are people who want anywhere from 3-5 kids. See respective ages above. And take into account I could be in school next 2-4 years (possible JDMBA).

- She is extremely close with her family who all live within proximity now. They're great people, but I cannot guarantee that I will take a job in Chicago post-MBA, especially if I go to school out East. She has been very cold to the notion of ever starting a family away from them.

- If I go to school out East, the only way it could work is if she follows me. She would need to sell/rent her place, and have her employer transfer offices. Both are doable, but tedious. Also, to do so, she'd pretty much need a ring on her finger (understandable), but I'm not ready for that at the moment, yet may be 6 mos...but by then it's probably too late to get everything ready to follow me out there...

Now, some of these factors could easily be eliminated if I'm dinged at H/W, but definitely still could be stressful.

Am I just in way over my head here?

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

04 Dec 2009, 09:24

Very interesting discussion. My approach so far is to limit my applications to places where my husband is excited to go (he has a life too, crazy huh). We will face the social stuff when it happens but it will definitely be an adjustment- we met at work, have worked together ever since. I doubt I'll be on spring break, etc. trips.

As for Kellogg, I have a secret Kellogg obsession, my husband is not too interested because he thinks Evanston is too far from Chicago and there's no clear opportunities for him in Chicago anyway... any concept of whether this whole 'partners' appeal works on the men too?

PBateman... I am certainly no relationship expert but I'll put it out here-- you know your GF wants to start a family in Chicago and I'm guessing it's about that time to start a family- yet you're applying to schools outside Chicago and not planning on returning... just a suggestion but maybe this should tell you both something. No shame in not being ready for marriage or knowing your path and going for it.

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

04 Dec 2009, 09:44

eekthecat wrote:

Very interesting discussion. My approach so far is to limit my applications to places where my husband is excited to go (he has a life too, crazy huh). We will face the social stuff when it happens but it will definitely be an adjustment- we met at work, have worked together ever since. I doubt I'll be on spring break, etc. trips.

As for Kellogg, I have a secret Kellogg obsession, my husband is not too interested because he thinks Evanston is too far from Chicago and there's no clear opportunities for him in Chicago anyway... any concept of whether this whole 'partners' appeal works on the men too?

PBateman... I am certainly no relationship expert but I'll put it out here-- you know your GF wants to start a family in Chicago and I'm guessing it's about that time to start a family- yet you're applying to schools outside Chicago and not planning on returning... just a suggestion but maybe this should tell you both something. No shame in not being ready for marriage or knowing your path and going for it.

I never felt Evanston was too far from the city, and I lived there for a bit and thought it was really nice. You can hop on the purple line 'el' there and take it down to the city, or take it to the red a little south of there and transfer to go into the city. Maybe 45 min trip. Driving would take 20-25 min along lake. The alternative would be to live in the city and you take the train up there for class...

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

06 Dec 2009, 09:07

PBateman wrote:

Anyone on here going to be facing these issues once decision-making time comes soon? I could use some sage advice if anyone has it...

My situation: I'm 24, gf is 30. Dating for a year, overall going very well. But...

- We both are people who want anywhere from 3-5 kids. See respective ages above. And take into account I could be in school next 2-4 years (possible JDMBA).

- She is extremely close with her family who all live within proximity now. They're great people, but I cannot guarantee that I will take a job in Chicago post-MBA, especially if I go to school out East. She has been very cold to the notion of ever starting a family away from them.

- If I go to school out East, the only way it could work is if she follows me. She would need to sell/rent her place, and have her employer transfer offices. Both are doable, but tedious. Also, to do so, she'd pretty much need a ring on her finger (understandable), but I'm not ready for that at the moment, yet may be 6 mos...but by then it's probably too late to get everything ready to follow me out there...

Now, some of these factors could easily be eliminated if I'm dinged at H/W, but definitely still could be stressful.

Am I just in way over my head here?

Hi, my situation is similar.

It sounds like you two would be sacrificing too much for each other.

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06 Dec 2009, 09:11

rhyme wrote:

johnnyx9 wrote:

Funny you posted that link Kidderek, that BW thread is actually the exact thing that made me start this thread.

Interesting that there are four people already w/ greater than 3 hour relationship commutes. I may end up in a situation like that and if I do I'm not looking forward to making choices like, "Do I go on a spring break w/ my girlfriend and pass up a spring break w/ classmates?" Seems like there will be a lot of decisions where I'll have to balance quality time w/ girlfriend, and seriously getting to know my classmates and really developing a network.

Yea, I'm in that boat too - there is no question that Grad school + marriage is going to be an interesting and rather incompatible mix. We've already had some tension over random walk - "Why do you need to go?"... "It's a networking opportunity" ... "You'll meet peopel in class...." etc. I've pretty much accepted that I wont be able to do everything I want to do, and I'll have to engage in some form of triage. I'll be a part of TNDCs every week I'm sure, but I probably wont get to do the ski trip or the spring break trips.

On the other hand, if other couples there want to do them too, it seems feasible that we all go as a group. It's funny this comes up though as a few days ago I was talking to a GSB student and when I mentioned I was getting married she suddenly changed : "Oh, well then we wont eb hanging otu much. IT's going to be hard for you." I ask her "How do you mean?" and she replies: "Well, grad school is set up for singles... you are going to miss out on a lot." (By now I was getting angry - I already hate the feeling of maybe missing out on anything - and here is this girl telling me that my grad school experience is basically goign to suck compared to everyone else) ... it went on like that ... "Well, just be careful. Most people cheat on ttheir SO's" bah.

Wow, this is really old, but with the advantage of a retrospective view, do you think she is insinuating herself?

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

19 Jan 2010, 10:19

PBateman wrote:

Anyone on here going to be facing these issues once decision-making time comes soon? I could use some sage advice if anyone has it...

My situation: I'm 24, gf is 30. Dating for a year, overall going very well. But...

- We both are people who want anywhere from 3-5 kids. See respective ages above. And take into account I could be in school next 2-4 years (possible JDMBA).

- She is extremely close with her family who all live within proximity now. They're great people, but I cannot guarantee that I will take a job in Chicago post-MBA, especially if I go to school out East. She has been very cold to the notion of ever starting a family away from them.

- If I go to school out East, the only way it could work is if she follows me. She would need to sell/rent her place, and have her employer transfer offices. Both are doable, but tedious. Also, to do so, she'd pretty much need a ring on her finger (understandable), but I'm not ready for that at the moment, yet may be 6 mos...but by then it's probably too late to get everything ready to follow me out there...

Now, some of these factors could easily be eliminated if I'm dinged at H/W, but definitely still could be stressful.

Am I just in way over my head here?

What did you decide, PBateman? We went through/are going through a lot of the same issues (my husband just started at Booth) - you can check out my blog through my profile here...

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

19 Jan 2010, 10:44

edark wrote:

What did you decide, PBateman? We went through/are going through a lot of the same issues (my husband just started at Booth) - you can check out my blog through my profile here...

Hey edark, I'm almost surely going to HBS, but we're still sorting through what can work for the two of us. It doesn't look like she's going to move out there, which is understandable because we're not engaged, and she has a lot of things holding her in Chicago (condo, job, family, etc.). What we're thinking of trying is her working remotely out there (or perhaps from her company's Boston office) for a period of time during each semester, so that we're not away from each other for any significant amount of time. By the end of the first year, I believe it should give us a pretty good feel of where we are - we'll have been together 2.5 years by then, assuming it lasts. If it does, then it's probably the point where something becomes official, and maybe she moves out there for the final year.

I think the one move that may end it regardless is if I'm accepted to the law school for the joint program (and do pursue it). Really trying to figure out whether that would be a prudent move from a time/opportunity/$ standpoint first, then will focus on how it changes any scenarios with us.

I'll be sure to catch up on your blog!

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

21 Jan 2010, 11:00

PBateman wrote:

Hey edark, I'm almost surely going to HBS, but we're still sorting through what can work for the two of us. It doesn't look like she's going to move out there, which is understandable because we're not engaged, and she has a lot of things holding her in Chicago (condo, job, family, etc.). What we're thinking of trying is her working remotely out there (or perhaps from her company's Boston office) for a period of time during each semester, so that we're not away from each other for any significant amount of time. By the end of the first year, I believe it should give us a pretty good feel of where we are - we'll have been together 2.5 years by then, assuming it lasts. If it does, then it's probably the point where something becomes official, and maybe she moves out there for the final year.

I think the one move that may end it regardless is if I'm accepted to the law school for the joint program (and do pursue it). Really trying to figure out whether that would be a prudent move from a time/opportunity/$ standpoint first, then will focus on how it changes any scenarios with us.

I'll be sure to catch up on your blog!

Yeah, I mean, passing up HBS would be REALLY hard. It sounds like you have a good plan. I have to say, that the women who moved here who aren't engaged yet....it does seem a little weird to the rest of us! Not that everyone necessarily has to get or be married or anything, but it's a major commitment without THE major commitment

.

Good luck to you guys - the LDR thing can totally work (my husband and I made it all the way through undergrad!), and if it's meant to be, you'll make it work

.

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

21 Jan 2010, 11:22

edark wrote:

Yeah, I mean, passing up HBS would be REALLY hard. It sounds like you have a good plan. I have to say, that the women who moved here who aren't engaged yet....it does seem a little weird to the rest of us! Not that everyone necessarily has to get or be married or anything, but it's a major commitment without THE major commitment

.

Good luck to you guys - the LDR thing can totally work (my husband and I made it all the way through undergrad!), and if it's meant to be, you'll make it work

.

I did notice in one of the recent entries that you parenthetically referred to the situation of a girlfriend moving somewhere else for the boyfriend's school, as opposed to a spouse doing the same. I'm waiting for the "more on that later", though I have a good idea of your thoughts on it, and I probably agree.

Really enjoying it so far - keep the entries coming!

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

21 Jan 2010, 11:41

PBateman wrote:

I did notice in one of the recent entries that you parenthetically referred to the situation of a girlfriend moving somewhere else for the boyfriend's school, as opposed to a spouse doing the same. I'm waiting for the "more on that later", though I have a good idea of your thoughts on it, and I probably agree.

Really enjoying it so far - keep the entries coming!

Haha - I'm trying not to be too judgmental, but I'm not always all that successful

. I'm sure there are times when it makes sense, but I definitely have something to say about the situation!

And thanks!!

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

21 Jan 2010, 20:19

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[quote="eekthecat"]Very interesting discussion. My approach so far is to limit my applications to places where my husband is excited to go (he has a life too, crazy huh). We will face the social stuff when it happens but it will definitely be an adjustment- we met at work, have worked together ever since. I doubt I'll be on spring break, etc. trips.
quote]

THIS...exactly...my husband + two kids will be coming with me and while I applied to schools that were agreeable to the group I recognize they still may not work out based on where my husband can work. And yea, we dont do spring break trips unless it involves going to the Mouse House in Anaheim. I guess we will be the boring old people and we arent even that old!

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

03 Feb 2010, 17:29

My first post in this forum, and what a thread to enter into

I'll admit, I am a little scared by reading all these posts. My gf and I have been doing the distance thing since we became official last December. She's in NY, and I'm in Toronto. When I go down to Darden, she wont be coming with me.

I've already mentioned to her that things will change in bschool, and I truly believe that we'll be able to make it through. Then again, Im sure that many other couples thought the exact same thing. I think what really matters is being open and honest with your partner, establishing expectations, and communicating as regularly and frequently as possible. I think its all about priorities too; if the relationship is important, then you'll be willing to skip out on that one night out with classmates, or at least duck out early, or give her a call, even if its just for 10 minutes.

I honestly never thought that I'd be going into b-school in this situation, but now that Im here, Im determined to make the best of it.

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

27 Feb 2010, 11:56

Do any B-schools have special programs etc for people in committed relationships / marriages?

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

27 Feb 2010, 12:32

abhattac5 wrote:

Do any B-schools have special programs etc for people in committed relationships / marriages?

Lots of schools have programs for the wives/husbands/partners of the students - I'd say most do, in fact! I'm a part of the one at Booth, and it's very active. I met all of my friends through the group, and we see each other often - with and without our students! It's really important for your significant other to feel comfortable and happy wherever you decide to go....and these groups are made to accomplish those goals!

https://www.betterorbusinessschool.blogspot.com - My blog is about being a partner of a business school student

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Re: B-school and relationships... [#permalink]

27 Feb 2010, 12:32