Find all School-related info fast with the new School-Specific MBA Forum

It is currently 17 Sep 2014, 23:49

Close

GMAT Club Daily Prep

Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track
Your Progress

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.

Events & Promotions

Events & Promotions in June
Open Detailed Calendar

Americans spend far too much of their time- Review Please

  Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  
Author Message
Intern
Intern
avatar
Joined: 02 Mar 2012
Posts: 5
GMAT 1: 720 Q50 V38
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 0 [0], given: 2

Reviews Badge
Americans spend far too much of their time- Review Please [#permalink] New post 10 May 2012, 23:34
:fyi This is my second attempt at GMAT, I got a 4.0 in AWA section the first time :help2. Please review my essay below, Thanks in Advance

Question:
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."

Discuss how logically persuasive you find the above argument. In presenting your point of view, analyze the sort of reasoning used and supporting evidence. In addition, state what further evidence, if any, would make the argument more sound and convincing or would make you better able to evaluate its conclusion.

Answer:

The argument above states that America is losing its competitive edge to other countries because certain studies show that on average Americans spend one fourth of their leisure time shopping. The argument is flawed because of the following reasons.

First of all, the author fails to define non-essential goods; different people view various goods in a different way, what one may consider to be essential might be considered non-essential by another. Moreover, the author has not included any data that shows the breakdown of the time spent on shopping by American into shopping for essential goods and non-essential goods, for example: time spent on grocery shopping versus time spent on buying shoes(considered non essential).

Secondly, the author seems to have assumed that the Americans spend more time shopping than does citizens of other countries; data on time management trends of other countries is needed to draw appropriate comparisons.

Lastly, the author has not presented any empirical data that suggests that USA is actually losing its competitive edge to other countries. In addition, no other possible reasons are examined for the supposed downfall of United States, such as government incompetency, unfavorable economic environment and depletion of natural resources, and time wastage is the only reason believed to hold true.

In Sum, this is a week argument. To strengthen the conclusion that America is losing its competitive edge because of time being wasted on shopping, the author should include the following. Define non-essential goods, provide information on breakdown of time spent on shopping for essential and non-essential goods, provide comparative data of time management trends of the citizens of other countries and provide empirical data to prove that USA is losing its competitive edge.


:done :banana
Kaplan Promo CodeKnewton GMAT Discount CodesGMAT Pill GMAT Discount Codes
Intern
Intern
avatar
Joined: 22 May 2012
Posts: 7
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 0 [0], given: 0

Re: Please review my Argument essay !! [#permalink] New post 23 May 2012, 08:27
hi dhruv,


first of all, i let you know that i am not a connoisseur( expert in judgement) in reviewing and rating the essay.
but still, i find lots of fallacies(errors)

mainly there are copious (abundant) typos,

1)week for weak
2) see usa is not losing competitive edge to other countries.
---actually it is losing comp.edge in comparison to other countries
3) u have not mentioned anything about last point of the argument -- in order to counteract the trend, spending time on personal & communal development.

4) try to spend more time in analyzing the argument, read 2,3 times- then organize,plan & start writing the essay.
5) try to increase the content.
8-)

u can achieve a score of 4-4.5 out of 6.


hey guys, as usual any critiques or plaudits are welcome. :-D
Re: Please review my Argument essay !!   [#permalink] 23 May 2012, 08:27
    Similar topics Author Replies Last post
Similar
Topics:
MGMAT MOCK Essay "Americans spend far too much of their time melaos 0 12 May 2014, 19:51
5 Experts publish their posts in the topic Spending Too Much Time on CR Questions (MGMAT Approach) rocketscience 9 30 Jul 2012, 10:29
We are spending too much on free customer- Rate Please zilliongmat 1 13 May 2012, 18:26
How Much Time do you spending reviewing error Log kizito2001 1 03 Dec 2007, 17:23
Before you spend too much time on this one - be warned - I gmatiscoming 12 22 May 2007, 10:38
Display posts from previous: Sort by

Americans spend far too much of their time- Review Please

  Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  


GMAT Club MBA Forum Home| About| Privacy Policy| Terms and Conditions| GMAT Club Rules| Contact| Sitemap

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group and phpBB SEO

Kindly note that the GMAT® test is a registered trademark of the Graduate Management Admission Council®, and this site has neither been reviewed nor endorsed by GMAC®.