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Analysis of an Issue.

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Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 12 Nov 2011, 18:20
Took my first practice test today and got a 3.5 on what I wrote. I would appreciate anything anyone could suggest to bring that score up.

Issue:
"All groups and organizations should function as teams in which everyone makes decisions and shares responibilities and duties. Giving one person central authority and responsibility for aproject or task is not an effective way to get work done."

===

Instruction:
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above? Support your views with resons and/or specific examples drawn from your own work or school experiences, your observations, or your reading.

===

My response:
I greatly disagree with the opinion expressed above. While team work and respect should remain strong in any organization, companies are very much capable of thriving under one person who is given central authority. For example, Sam Walton, Bill Gates and Andrew Carnegie were only able to achieve the extreme success experienced by their companies because they were unrestrained with respect to co-managers or other powers from whom they would have had to attain agreement. In fact, the three above-mentioned individuals were severely discouraged, warned and ridiculed by peers and colleagues. Had it been necessary to secure agreement with any of these peers or colleagues, Carnegie may have never established the steel company that practically consumed all demand for steel at the time. Likewise, if walton would have been just one of many managers he may have never had the opportunity to turn a small variety store in east Arkansas - a shop that was realizing deeper and deeper debt due to the multiple other variety stores in the vacinity - and eventually turn it into the massive corporation we know today as Walmart.

Furthermore, in reading biographical content regarding the life or business ventures of Warren Buffett, the financial magnate, one could easily deduce that his creative waters were allowed to flow far and wide only because of the lack of outside counsel or opinion that would have otherwise dammed up its cureent. Robert Hagstrom, in his book, "The Warren Buffett Way," explains that Buffett, by far the world's most successful financier of all time, is a pioneer in his philosophies and alone in his principles. Though people have studied Buffett and Buffett has been more than generous with his knowledge, financial managers, professors and businessmen the world over continue to preach and practice finance and business in a way that directly contradicts Buffetts beliefs. If any of them had been co-managers with Buffett, they would have done nothing more than water down his success.

===

Analysis:
This response provides competent analysis of ideas; develops and supports main points with relevant reasons and/or examples; is adequately organized; conveys meaning with reasonable clarity; demonstrates satisfactory control of sentence structure and language usage, but may have some errors that affect clarity.
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 14 Nov 2011, 14:45
I'm not an english major so I will not try to breakdown your essay. HOWEVER, I do have a mighty good solution for you. I suck at writing and I've received a B on almost every paper I've ever written, but I used chineseburned's guide and I got a 5.5 AWA score on the gmat a couple of months ago.

It is honestly the best resource in the entire forum. I used every little trick from using "hence", "moreover" to "The argument is flawed/weak/unconvincing because of the above -mentioned...Ultimately, the argument can be strengthened if xyz".

Solid 100% material here:
how-to-get-6-0-awa-my-guide-64327.html
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 14 Nov 2011, 15:11
Thank you so, so much. I can't believe no one at all is replying to my posts. I can't thank you enough for this link.
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 14 Nov 2011, 16:24
yeah it's really hit or miss on this forum. Most people reside in the Quant, Verbal, and B-school app sections of this forum

You'll also see help come in waves...right now I think round 1 just ended, so most people were in the b-school app section rather than here. In addition, the AWA section doesn't hold a lot of weight so most people don't come in here.

I just want to add that when I got that score, it was the first time I had written an essay for the GMAT. I didn't write essays for any of my practice exams. I read that guide 2 days before and just memorized the flow of it.

Best of luck!
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 21 Nov 2011, 03:31
2 paragraphs won’t do you any good. Write between 4 – 6 paragraphs depending on your typing speed and how you intend to present ideas developed.

Below is my own idea:

INTRODUCTION: State central theme and take position. Summarize any 3 points and go further to develop them a point per paragrph: para1, para2, para3.

PARA1

PARA2

PARA3

CONCLUSION: restate your position with the 3 points in summarized form. XYZ is better than ABC for reasons as evidenced ...stating 1,2, and 3 reasons as discussed above.
Reserve say, 3 – 5 mins for proof reading.
Good examples should be contextual in nature....not just unknown example or one that doesn’t make meaning.

Combine SHORT and LONG sentences in a paragraph.
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 21 Nov 2011, 03:36
Stoneface wrote:
Took my first practice test today and got a 3.5 on what I wrote. I would appreciate anything anyone could suggest to bring that score up.

How did you know the rating of your practice essay? Did someone rate it, or was it given by a test prep that scores essays on free gmat online tests?
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 21 Nov 2011, 06:16
Basically, what I'm understanding from this is that I need to write this like a very short research paper: Tell them what I'm going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what I told them. So, I could have done something like this:

I. Restate the topic on hand and mention and mention Carnegie and his business, Walton and his business and Gates and his business.

II. Speak about Carnegie and how he strenghtnes my argument and weakens the given argument. Give examples.

III. Speak about Walton and how he strenghtnes my argument and weakens the given argument. Give examples.

IIV. Speak about Gates and how he strenghtnes my argument and weakens the given argument. Give examples.

IV. Conclusion. Look back over the points and recap.

I think I've got it. I'll also be sure to include lots of "therfores," "furthermores" and "the above argument is weakened by the facts," etc. Let me ask, though, about the portion of the instruction that says to support my argument with experience, reading, etc. How significant is that and how much do I need to focus on each one of the three ways to support my argument?

Thanks again, guys!
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 21 Nov 2011, 09:30
@Stoneface
How did you get the 3.5 score in your first practice?

Yes, on the issue essay, you are expected to:

I. State the theme; Take position(either support/oppose); you could also state 3 points and discuss them later in the paragraphs.

II. What is your first (and probably the strongest) reason for opposing the topic?
Give a contextual example to buttress your point.

III. Same as in II

IV. Same as in II

V. Conclusion: look back and recap

You need to practice to master the pattern and to minimize errors. Under stress, you are bound to make some mistakes: typos, grammar, punctuations, etc.
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 21 Nov 2011, 13:42
gmatbull wrote:
@Stoneface... How did you get the 3.5 score in your first practice?
What do you mean?
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 21 Nov 2011, 15:58
considering the fact that it was a practice essay, I was curious since grades are not awarded
during practice sessions.
Was it graded by a forum member, a gmat prep company, or how was
the 3.5 score allocated?
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 21 Nov 2011, 20:25
It was a Veritas practice test. They grade both essays via software. I got a 3.5 on one and 5 on the other with 620 overall (ugh!).
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 13 Dec 2011, 16:10
Hi All,

I am writing only GMAT Prep Test and Manhattan GMAT Test.

But i am not aware of any practise test which gives score for AWA.

Please let me know which tests give scores.

I am giving my GMAT test on Dec 19th , next Monday.

I request for some quick response, so that i can try with one of them and see where i stand .
Thanks in Advance.

Regards,
ckarimanoor
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 15 Dec 2011, 04:42
ckarimanoor wrote:
Hi All,

I am writing only GMAT Prep Test and Manhattan GMAT Test.

But i am not aware of any practise test which gives score for AWA.



you already have the answer in the last post before yours: it says, "Veritaprep"

Good luck in your exam...and please do not hesitate to keep us informed of how
you faired on the test.
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Re: Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 28 Jan 2012, 06:45
Please rate my essay and provide your comments

Essay Title:

“In any enterprise, the process of making or doing something is ultimately more important than the final product.”
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

Essay:

Process is a set of steps describing how to manufacture a product. Manufacturing a product is not possible without knowing how to manufacture a product. Even if we end up with a product without following a process, the possibility of failure is higher. Enterprise’s reputation, standard, quality would then be questioned. Customers will be dissatisfied with an erroneous product. We daily hear in news, lot of accidents like Toxic gas leakage from chemical industry due to malfunction of gas chamber, flight crashes due to engine failure etc are all because of lack of significance given to process.

Process enables to produce products of same quality and standard. It helps to forecast and avoid potential failure/risk achieving high quality product. Process increases productivity by identifying and eliminating wastes involved in making the product. Example: Cost involved in fixing a defected product is costlier than fixing a process.

Process gives manufacture fair amount of knowledge about the product helping to deliver a high quality product. Process helps the enterprise to learn from their mistakes. It becomes a history data for manufacturing a similar kind of product in future.

There is a myth that process increases the product cost. It may be true, but what we need to see is the quality and sustainability of the product. It yields brand name and overall customer satisfaction for the enterprise. It is the process which helps the enterprise to sustain in the market.
Re: Analysis of an Issue.   [#permalink] 28 Jan 2012, 06:45
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