any suggestions will be appreciated ....thanks : Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA)
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# any suggestions will be appreciated ....thanks

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any suggestions will be appreciated ....thanks [#permalink]

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04 Aug 2011, 01:54
AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a medical magazine:

"Art and music have long been understood to have therapeutic effects for individuals who suffer from either physical or mental illnesses. However, most doctors rarely recommend to patients some form of art or music therapy. Instead, doctors focus almost all of their attention on costly drug treatments and invasive procedures that carry serious risks and side-effects. By focusing on these expensive procedures rather than low-cost treatments such as art and music therapy, doctors are doing a disservice to their patients and contributing to the rising cost of health care in the United States."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

citing facts drawn based on the therapeutic effects of art and music on an individual suffering from either physical or mental illnessess,the argument concludes that doctors are doing disservice to their pateints and to society on whole. most doctors recommend costly drug treatments and procedures that are risky and have higher side effects inspite of cheaper and better treatments available in the form of art and music therapy. the argument fails to consider the following assumptions and hence illogically generalises the conculsion. the argument is thus flawed on the basis of given reasons.

at first, the argument fails to state that how effective is art and music therapy over the effects of costly drugs considered by most doctors. if a patient is in urgent need of a treatment and even a minute delay can cost his/her life then waiting for art and music therapy to work is foolishness.if the therapeutic effects takes months to show a postive result comparing to few days taken by drugs to show immediate effect. one will prefer to undergo the latter.
if the argument would have considered the compartive time taken by both type of treatments, it would have been easier to logically evaulate the soundness of the argument.

secondly, it also fails to consider the pateint side of the case given. it is nowhere stated that pateints are not biased towards a particular kind of treatment. general notion of people is its better to go for costly but immediate treatment rather than a lengthy lethargic one keeping the indivdual on bed for long. might be few individuals can be against of this very idea. but keeping the general view in mind, the argument illogically concludes that doctors are doing disservice by giving their patients drug treatment costlier and riskier. in case it would have been stated that patients are forced to do so rather than their own will, the argument would have stand positive.

finally, not the least to say, the argument also fails to state the cost of therapeutic treatement to costly drugs. to support my statement, lets say cost per person for therapeutic treatment is 1000 $but no where stated how long it takes to work, so it might be possible that the cost increases as per the required treatment for an individual. and by the time the person recovers from the illness his bill is approx 3500$ . on the other hand the cost of drugs treatment is 2000\$. now comparing the cost, which one is definitely higher ?

in conclusion, i would say it is highly presumptous to not consider the above mentioned facts and to draw on a conclusion . the argument doesnt stand unless the mentioned assumptions are considered.it is highly doubtful to say that the doctors are at fault. i am not saying it might not be the case, it can be as stated but needs further enlightment to make it sound logical.
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Re: any suggestions will be appreciated ....thanks [#permalink]

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04 Aug 2011, 12:14
Barring typos and minor grammatical errors this is well written. My only recommendation is to avoid words big words if you don't remember the correct spelling.

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Re: any suggestions will be appreciated ....thanks   [#permalink] 04 Aug 2011, 12:14
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