You can probably narrow down your list of schools to 5 or 6.
As for "safeties" it really comes down to how low you want to go. You already have a business degree, you have a solid job, strong community extras, etc -- in other words, even without an MBA it seems like you already have a pretty strong resume as it is, so my hunch is that you probably want to limit your schools to the top 16 (i.e. top 16 or bust).
Stanford/HBS - if this is a 2-year plan (i.e. apply this year to schools with the option of reapplying next year), then apply to both; if it's a one-shot (you're only going to apply this year), then choose one. As for which one, it depends on which school you'll fit into more. Visit both schools if you can.
Kellogg/Chicago/Tuck - choose two or three. Kellogg and Tuck are the more collegial. Chicago is more studious.
Cornell/Haas/Darden - choose your top two.
You don't need to look at UNC.
With this list, you should be able to get in, regardless of your sexual identity. As for being gay, it *can* matter if your sexual identity has had an influence in your development as a professional and a member of your community (i.e. it's colored your choices, your experience, your perspectives, your achievements, etc. in your workplace and your extracurriculars). If your sexual identity hasn't had anything to do with your workplace or extracurriculars, then it is just a datapoint that probably won't really matter either way.
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