Guys can you give your comment on this essay in terms of if this is 3/4/5? i dont think it s a 6
what can i do better?
The Argument states that the electronic game rating system is not working as it is self regulated and fines for violating the
rating system are nominal.It further states the need to have an independent body to oversee the gaming industry and suggests
penalization for companies that violate the rating system . Stated this way , the argument manipulates reality and gives a
dirstorted view of the situation , is a stretch of reality and fails to give many reasons on the basis of which the situation
could properly be evaluated.
Firstly, the argument claims that a rating system gives a yardstick to determine whether contents are appropriate or not.
However, the definition of appropriate is subjective . For example a first person Shooting game involving the police and
criminal offenders might be offensive for some viewers however a Person employed in the defence forces might consider this as
a stimulator environment and may use such a platform for practice. similarly in reference to fines for violating the system ,
the argument fails to define nominal . What one person may consider as Nominal fee amount might be substantial for the other.
Thus, properly defining all criteria included in the argument will strengthen it .
Secondly , the arument claims that an independent body should oversee the game industry as the self regulation system is a
failure . This is a questionable asumption because there is no reason to believe that self regulatory systems are not working
well . Taking the example of the content collaboration services like wikipedia which is completely regulated by individuals
who are nto a part of any organization . This system is workign well to identify and block objectionable content or review
the content to ensure that it is appropriate for all audiences. Thus if a self regulatory system can work well for wikipedia
it can certainly work well for the Gaming Industry . Thus there needs to be a basis for such an assumption otherwise it
introduces a bias in the argument.
Finally the argument is a stretch as it tries to compare the Movie industry with the gaming industry . These are two separate
segments with different content , target audiences and tastes . Stated in this way and comparing the two the author is taking
a leap of faith and avoids taking an in depth look at the situation .In order to make any judgement on the The gaming
industry rating system it is imperative that we have a detailed look at the gaming ecosystem .
In conclusion the argument has many flaws and fails to consider many factors which would have strengthed it . FUrthermore due
to existence of such flaws the argument remains unsubstantiated and unconvincing . Proper definition of all terms involved ,
Not making assumptions that stretch and considering all relevant factors will strengthen it .