There are various grammatical errors in your essay. You have good ideas, but if you have more than 1 or 2 of these basic errors, your score will be affected. For example, in the first body paragraph,
The main reason of (for is better than of)
my view is that (missing "the")
practice of decreasing the quantity of energy used is every nation responsibility. In the spirit of globalization, people live in missing article "a")
world not divided by hard borders, (this next part should be a separate sentence, otherwise it's a run-on)
we share the same breathing space, and so does the nation. As Thomas Friedman mentioned in his book, “Hot, Flat and Crowded”, energy conservation should be a revolutionary effort involving every nation. It is an urgent and important issue needed (should be "needing")
everyone’s attention. Contribution from individual nation(should be plural)
, independently, only yields evolutionary result and it will not resolve shortage of energy resources in a desired scale.
the AWA is really a test of basic essay writing skills and proper grammar and syntax. don't fall into the trap thinking that you need to write a dissertation or have an advanced writing style in order to get a 6.0. if you just keep the essay very simple, straightforward, and to the point, and with minimal grammatical errors, you can get a 6.0.
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