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AWA - Analysis -- Energy Conservation (pls help to rate)

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pls help to rate or feedback? thanks.

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AWA - Analysis -- Energy Conservation (pls help to rate) [#permalink] New post 15 Sep 2009, 06:20
“It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


The author of this topic suggests that energy conservation would be more effective under collective effort involving many nations than individual contribution from single nation. In this discussion, I shall present arguments favoring the former statement and refuting the latter.

The main reason of my view is that practice of decreasing the quantity of energy used is every nation responsibility. In the spirit of globalization, people live in world not divided by hard borders, we share the same breathing space, and so does the nation. As Thomas Friedman mentioned in his book, “Hot, Flat and Crowded”, energy conservation should be a revolutionary effort involving every nation. It is an urgent and important issue needed everyone’s attention. Contribution from individual nation, independently, only yields evolutionary result and it will not resolve shortage of energy resources in a desired scale.

Moreover, international leadership such as the effort led by former United State’s Vice President, Al Gore is much needed to raise the awareness of energy conservation. A true advocate for global warming issue, Al Gore uses his knowledge and leadership to influence the world about the importance of preserving the environment, reducing carbon footprint and developing green, renewable and sustainable energy. Through this kind of large scale public awareness campaign, only the world will share a common goal and work together to preserve energy for future generations.

Last but not least, developed nations which have proven records in preserving energy and harvesting renewable energy can share their technological advancement with the world. For example, Germany and Spain are both the leaders in solar energy, a green and renewable energy suitable for many nations. Through technology knowledge sharing, we can leverage the energy conservation effort to a global level. Of course, world association such as United Nation needs to take the initiative to promote the knowledge sharing culture.

However, achieving global consensus in conserving energy is not an easy task. For example, Kyoto Protocol, a treaty aims at reducing greenhouse gas emission does not come successful due to various hindrances to acquire global consensus.

In sum, global cooperation and international leadership are very crucial for energy conservation. It is impractical to expect independent sacrifices from individual nation to conserve energy, as it will only yield little success in the long run.
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Re: AWA - Analysis -- Energy Conservation (pls help to rate) [#permalink] New post 30 Sep 2009, 09:24
well its a gr8 Analysis thnkxx 4 the info.......:)
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Re: AWA - Analysis -- Energy Conservation (pls help to rate) [#permalink] New post 01 Oct 2009, 12:40
There are various grammatical errors in your essay. You have good ideas, but if you have more than 1 or 2 of these basic errors, your score will be affected. For example, in the first body paragraph,

The main reason of (for is better than of) my view is that (missing "the")practice of decreasing the quantity of energy used is every nation responsibility. In the spirit of globalization, people live in missing article "a")world not divided by hard borders, (this next part should be a separate sentence, otherwise it's a run-on)we share the same breathing space, and so does the nation. As Thomas Friedman mentioned in his book, “Hot, Flat and Crowded”, energy conservation should be a revolutionary effort involving every nation. It is an urgent and important issue needed (should be "needing") everyone’s attention. Contribution from individual nation(should be plural), independently, only yields evolutionary result and it will not resolve shortage of energy resources in a desired scale.

the AWA is really a test of basic essay writing skills and proper grammar and syntax. don't fall into the trap thinking that you need to write a dissertation or have an advanced writing style in order to get a 6.0. if you just keep the essay very simple, straightforward, and to the point, and with minimal grammatical errors, you can get a 6.0.
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Re: AWA - Analysis -- Energy Conservation (pls help to rate)   [#permalink] 01 Oct 2009, 12:40
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