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AWA Evaluation :Can someone please help Evaluate my AWA

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AWA Evaluation :Can someone please help Evaluate my AWA [#permalink] New post 30 Sep 2012, 13:23
I am a non Native speaker, Can someone please help evaluate my essay and point out the flaws..


ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in an article in a human resources magazine:
"Six months ago, in an experiment aimed at boosting worker productivity, Company Z started providing free gourmet lunches to its employees. The Company hoped that these office lunches would encourage employees to remain in the building during lunch-hour and motivate employees to work harder throughout the day. A survey found that soon after the lunch program was implemented, the average number of hours worked by most Company Z employees increased dramatically. During this same period, the Company's profits also increased substantially. Thus, it is safe to say that the lunch program was a huge success and that Company Z should make the program permanent."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.


The Argument above the author is that the boost in worker productivity as well as the profits is due to implementation of free gourmet lunches inside the company premises. Although the end result is expected of the experiment conducted, however it will be good to find out whether this experiment alone was a factor in the increase as suggested by the author.

Firstly the change in the profits can be explained by the a new policy implementation or the change in market conditions that may have driven the profits the expected increase, thus making it harder to determine how much did the implementation help in increasing the profits.

Secondly it is worthwhile to find out whether the increase in number of hours clocked in the office has anything to do with the time spent during lunches by employees and whether the extra time spent may be to compensate for the time spent on gourmet lunches. As the Employee is not leaving the office premises it may be hard to ascertain whether the lunch time hours are being overused or not.

For the company to go ahead and make the program permanent these nuances should be fully evaluated. The Supporting evidences provided by the author needs to answer the questions posed above.
AWA Evaluation :Can someone please help Evaluate my AWA   [#permalink] 30 Sep 2012, 13:23
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AWA Evaluation :Can someone please help Evaluate my AWA

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