It's a good essay. But I'm sure it could have been better.
I'm not an essay guru, at all... but here's my two cents. On the first paragraph you must clearly state your position (which side your on, let's say the use of power is what impresses people the most.). On the second you can state your reason for believing why your position is correct and persuade your reader into believing that it is so. The third, you can state another reason. The fourth, you can state yet another reason or you can say that you admit that there could be a counter argument (i.e an argument that can really support the other position, that the restricted use of power is what impresses people the most).
And then to finish you can kind of say that a balance is good but you must restate your position.
Just an opinion!
Any other opinions???
Thank you for your kudoses Everyone!!!
"It always seems impossible until its done."