AWA Issue3 : Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA)
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AWA Issue3

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Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Posts: 27
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Kudos [?]: 7 [0], given: 8

AWA Issue3 [#permalink]

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New post 23 Aug 2009, 10:32
Will a 'flat' organizational structure be more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees? Can an organization really work productively without hierarchy? Which structure most of the organization follow in the current corporate world and why? Most of the organizations today follow hierarchy. Hierarchal organization assists its employees in numerous ways. It helps to increase productivity of the employee, assist him to fulfill his/her self-esteem with yearly and quarterly benefits, and helps the team to perform better with team spirit.

First of all, how hierarchical organizational structure increases productivity of the employee? It helps employees to overcome their personal issues and work in a team cooperatively. This helps then to be more productive. Moreover, issues are resolved more easily when a manager intervenes. I have seen this in my own organization many times.

Secondly, hierarchical organizational structure assists employees to fulfill their self-esteem with yearly and quarterly benefits. Every human wants to feel that he/she is important at his/her work place and so needs the impetus to perform well. I used to be very happy with pay-hikes. In two ways it helped me to increase performance. One, each time my take home increased, I used to feel better. Two, I used to feel that I am an important resource for my company. It was a really satisfying feeling. I believe if employee is satisfied, his performance increases.

Thirdly, team spirit is a very important factor. If you see around the world every team either it be cricket or hockey, every team has a caption. If it had been a flat structure there would be no caption in any team. Team wins as it has caption, which resolve many issues faced within the team and helps to direct the team towards achievement and goals.

To sum up, where there is a will there is a way, but when it comes to multiple humans’ intervention it fails. We need a coordinator and a lead, which helps the team to achieve the goal, to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees. In my view, hierarchical organization is a far better organization to manage and to achieve its goal with productivity than flat organization.

Please mark me on scale of 6 and even feel free to give ur reviw comments.
regards and thanks.
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Joined: 27 May 2009
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Re: AWA Issue3 [#permalink]

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New post 23 Aug 2009, 11:56
cant rate man..... Just that your second para shuld have been a little more longer/ bigger...
Joined: 20 Aug 2009
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New post 31 Aug 2009, 09:53
I would say that your thinking is right but your essay lacks "fillers" like examples, references etc.

First of all, I would not advise you to start with questions. E-rater looks back at other 6.0 essays and most of them are very typical in structure and in no case outstanding. Start as usual:

Some people think that 'flat' business structures are more efficient than highly hierarchal companies because <add reason 1> and because they encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees. Other people believe that hierarchal organisations are <add reason> since they incorporate a number of internal mechanisms that motivate employees to <> and thus increase overall efficiency of a company. The issue is controversial but a closer examination reveals that (just as Chineseburned taught us).

And continue as usual)).

Then, I would say that instead of giving examples of your life experience, you should say something like:
For instance, many companies offer their employees pay-hikes. Though such pay-hikes may represent significant cost to a firm, the resulting benefits well outweigh the expenses. Employees <add example, that their health increases> which results in increased productivity and output. In addition, employees <say that they feel that they are important to the company> which again enhances productivity and has positive impact on company's profits.

When you say, to sum up, what you want to say is unclear. Remember, this is not a person, but a software who will be reading your essay. Don't say "we need", use "people normally need", then I think you should not repeat "encourage collegiality" cause it makes one feel as you are trying to speculate on strong expressions you found.

I guess your idea is right but you should use more typical structures and not focus on your experience. Substitute "I" for generalisations.

I am no guru myself. But these are thoughts that came into my mind when I was reading your essay.
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Re: AWA Issue3 [#permalink]

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New post 26 Sep 2009, 22:17
I'd say the essay is well organized and would score 5 or better.

Consider giving Kudos if you like the post.

Re: AWA Issue3   [#permalink] 26 Sep 2009, 22:17
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AWA Issue3

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