Hi Friends,
I am trying my hands at the AWA section, but i am not really sure how the quality of the essays is turning out to be.
It would really help if someone can rate how is my first essay.
Prompt Argument-
"Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker's consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through
age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker's consumption of cola,
however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given
that the number of older adults will significantlyincrease as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows
that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should,
therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee."
My analytical essay-
The argument ,though, tells us about the relationship between coffee versus cola consumption
with respect to age, it lacks clarity over a few critical parameters to substantiate the
conclusion.
First the author has made a sweeping generalization about the intake of coffee and cola in the
respective categories without mentioning any thing about the sample size considered in this
particular study. If the sample size was not considerably large then the assumptions doesn't hold
a valid ground and cannot be assumed as a generalization.
Secondly when the author speaks about the consumption of coffee vs cola he doesn't specify
the exact quantity consumed by an individual among the two respective groups.
As a result one can not correctly access the monitory benefit of shifting his investments
as the data is not clear. A coffee drinker may drink 10 oz of coffee/day at 60 as opposed to
8 when he was 59 and a cola
drinker might drink 18 oz of cola at 60 as opposed to 20 when he was 59.
Thirdly the author does not take into account the rise of the population below 60 years of age
in the coming 20 years, sure the number of adults will increase but so will the population
of infants and young people which may substantially increase cola consumtion.
Lastly the author makes a flawed conclusion that one should consider shifting the investments
to coffee. It would be a wiser decision to keep a healthy investment in both cola and coffee
at the meeting point of the cola,coffee VS age graph.
The argument could be substantiated with proper statistical data about the sample size and the
actual average consumption of coffee and cola.Also if it can be proven with real statistical
data that after 20 years the population over 60 is going to be more that the cola drinkers
below that age, then only will the conclusion be valid otherwise it just looks very
superficial and lame.
In the view of above flaws in the assumptions, a better conclusion is to keep a healthy mix
of investments in both cola and coffee, mostly at the intersection of the graph, and
monitor the investments with time.