can some one have a look in my essay please ?

"Being occasionally dishonest is a good way to maintain relationships with friends and loved ones."
How would you rate the accuracy of the above statement? Support your position with reasons and examples.


My answer:

the issue of honnesty with friends and loved people is a controversial one. While many think that being occasionally dishonnest with the closeest people is immorale and can harm one 's relationship, others think that the occasionnal dishonnesty can be beneficial and can resolve some of complexed situation. a closer examination of the issue reveals that occasional disohnnesty can be a good way to maintain a relationship with the closest people.

One reason for that is that occasional disonnesty can pick one out from unconfortable situation. for example by a simple lie one can explain for his wife why he is with her best friend in a coffé. It's inamanagible how the situation will be without lying. some might argue that it 's easy to slide in a all time lying mood. This can be countered by the fact that the subject concerns only rare situations where dishonnesty is needed.

another reason is that it 's impossible to be all the time honnest. Evry single person lied at least once in his life. Hence it 's almost impossible to be honnest with friends all the time.Therfore, one can use those "dishonnest windows" to strenghen his relationship with the closest people.

The best reason might be that being dishonnest might be beneficial for all people. Truth is not alwayd the best choice. How can one explain for his friend that friend-wife is dating with another common friend for example. This can break family and put childs in the street. It can unrecoverable situation. Another example liying can recover a broken relationship between friends. thus lying or at least closing eyes in some situation is the best way to deal with it.

In summary, While there are reasons in the both sides, it 's clear that the advantages of being dishonnest are greater than that of being honnest. The easy explanation of some situations and the harm that can be avoided whille being dishonnest are enormous reasons to choose being occasionnaly disnonnest.


Thanks.

Hi medmti,

Overall feedback:
1. Work on the grammar - the sentences are broken at places and do not make sense
2. You are repeating points - the first and third reason you provide are largely similar
3. Bring out some different examples- the ones you use are not clear

Overall, I would give this a 4.0 on 6.0 at best. Some improvement needed.

Please refer to the attached word document for my opinion.