I would rate this between 3.5-4.5.
1. It is difficult to grasp the point you are trying to make in your first body paragraph. If I understand correctly you are suggesting that since movie rating system is credible, the electronic gaming system could be credible as well since it follows the same pattern. The inclusion of the points from the argument about self-regulation and fines for violation seems irrelevant, especially since you are expanding on it in the next paragraph.
2. See my proposal about rephrasing questions as potential possibilities. my-first-awa-essay-115226.html
3. The essay is a bit on short side, especially for the final two points. In case you haven't, I would recommend looking at the AWA Session (Dec 2nd, 2010) from Thursdays with Ron
. Personally, I found his idea of starting with the body instead of the introduction extremely helpful. It makes you focus on parts of the essay that count the most towards your score.
Hope that helps,
My GMAT Story: tale-of-a-first-timer