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# Can someone please rate my 1st Essay!

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Manager
Joined: 06 Jun 2012
Posts: 147
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Kudos [?]: 102 [0], given: 37

Can someone please rate my 1st Essay! [#permalink]  28 May 2013, 01:09
Hi All,
I need your help to review my AWA. This is my 1st Essay and your review will help me benchmark. Thanks a ton for sparing some time for me.

The following appeared in the opinion section of a national newsmagazine:
“To reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should raise the price of postage stamps. This solution will no doubt prove effective, since the price increase will generate larger revenues and will also reduce the volume of mail, thereby eliminating the strain on the existing system and contributing to improved morale.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion. (used with permission from mba.com)

The argument states an opinion from a section of nation newsmagazine that increase in postage stamps will reverse the deterioration of the postal service by increasing the revenues and reducing the volume of the mail which will eliminate the strain on the existing system and contribute to the improved morale. This argument is far fetched and makes many wrong assumptions as discussed in the below paragraphs.

Firstly the argument assumes that increasing the postage stamps will increase the revenue. This might not hold true as many of the people who still use postal service might not be able to afford the increase in the stamp duty and might stop sending mails altogether. Due to advances in the technology communication is not restricted to only postal mails. This increase in postal duty might make the postal mail enthusiasts move to other modes of communication such as emails, fax etc. Hence increasing the price of the postage stamps does not ensure increase in the revenue which might be used to increase the efficiency of the postal service.

Secondly, we are assuming that reduction in the volume of the mail will eliminate the strain on the existing system and contribute to the improved morale. Understanding what are the issues which have put strain on the existing system is very important. For example, low salary leading to increased attrition might be the reason for low morale. This issue might not be solved even with reduction in the volume of mails. Worse it might be detrimental to the already reduced morale as the employees. Hence the assumption that the reduced volume of mail will help is also incorrect.

A more detailed study is required before making any decision regarding the increase in price of postage stamps. What has affected the morales of the employees, what is making the existing system inefficient, what are the bottlenecks and are the end customers ready to pay higher are few questions that need to be answered before any solution is presented. Hence to conclude, the argument presented by the newsmagazine does not take into consideration all the relevant reasons and factors which are affecting the postal service and are making liberal assumptions while presenting a solution.
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Manager
Joined: 06 Jun 2012
Posts: 147
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Kudos [?]: 102 [0], given: 37

Re: Can someone please rate my 1st Essay! [#permalink]  31 May 2013, 04:19
Knock Knock!! Anybody out there who could rate this essay?
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Re: Can someone please rate my 1st Essay!   [#permalink] 31 May 2013, 04:19
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