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Can someone please review my essay

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Joined: 06 Jan 2012
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GMAT 1: Q48 V30
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Can someone please review my essay [#permalink] New post 20 May 2012, 13:23
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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

It is better to attend a live performance such as a play, concert or sporting event

==================
Some people think that watching live performance at the comfort of home is better. Others think that it is better to attend a live performance. The issue is a controversial one, but in my opinion watching a live performance is better for several reasons.

One reason is that by watching a performance at home I can save some money. Most of the live performance are very costly and I cannot afford to pay such a high price for the performance. For example, three months back there was a live performance of Celine Dion in Las Vegas and it was also going to broadcasted on television. I was very tempted to attend the conference. The cost of attending the live performance was going to be more than $600. This was too costly for me so I decided to watch the concert at home.

Second reason is that when watching a performance at home I can multitask. For e.g. I was recently watching a live performance of AR Rehman on television. While watching I also completed my exercise and cooked a delicious meal. Clearly, I could save some time when watching performance at home.

Third reason is that I get a better view of the performance on television. When you go for a live concert, if we buy a back row ticket, then the view of the stage may not be clear as many people may be dancing and walking. To illustrate this point, let me tell my experience of going to a movie award show in Mumbai in 2003. I and my friend were excited to go to the awards and meet all the actors in person. But when we arrived we had back row seat. As a result I was not able to see the stage properly and couldn't meet any of the actors in person.

In summary, while there are arguments to be made for both sides, it is clear that there are greater advantages of watching a performance at home because of the above mentioned reasons. Certainly, I would prefer to watch a performance at home.
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Can someone please review my essay   [#permalink] 20 May 2012, 13:23
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