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Children today have an unprecedented number- Review Please

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Children today have an unprecedented number- Review Please [#permalink] New post 19 May 2012, 03:15
Hi, please rate my issue essay, advice improvement areas and point out weak areas. I have GMAT exam next week.
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Topic - "Children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Since no parent can be aware of all of these options, it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
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My response -


Author asserts that there is unprecentented number of options available to children when it comes to entertainment. Since no parent can be aware of all of these options so entertainment media ensure that their content is suitable to young consumers. I completely disagree with author that entertainment media should ensure restrictions to access of entertainment contents to young consumer based on their age. Contrary, I strongly believe that parents have primary role in controlling access of such contents to their children and secondarily government should ensure enforcement of laws to restrict access of such content to children.

To begin with my point of view, I would like to highlight that primary purpose of any industry is to generate more and more revenue and profits rather than to take any social responsibility. As government has already set up various laws to categories entertainment contents based on content’s intended audience e.g. adult martial should be categorized as adult or A. Therefore the only responsibility of entertainment media is to categories their contents with such categorization.

In agreement with the above point, entertainment industry can not control access of entertainment contents to any body as neither they have any such legal powers not it is their responsibility. It is the responsibility of government to enforce laws e.g. if there is adult movie released in a movie hall then it is the responsibility of local government that only adults are admitted in movie hall. Same way if there are adult video games available in market then government should ensure that those games are only sold to adults but not to children.

The strongest point of my belief that major responsibility to restrict assess of children to adult content lies with their parent. Although parent can't be aware of all entertainment contents which are available today in market, parents can be aware about entertainment contents which their children are accessing. There are various ways to control such access e.g. today’s TVs are equipped with child lock, computers are equipped with various programs which can be used to monitor activities of kids etc…. At the same time parent can encourage children to take more interest in outdoor sports activities and in creative activities. Such encouragement will definitively decrease their interest in other inappropriate entertainment contents.

In sum, I would like to emphasis that in today’s capitalist market, any industry will focus more on increasing their profits rather than to fulfill social responsibilities. As the same time it is duty of government to enforce laws and duty of parents to have a vigil on their kids so that children do not access entertainment media which is inappropriate for them.
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Re: please rate my issue essay [#permalink] New post 19 May 2012, 04:55
guys.. any feedback is highly appreciated...
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Re: please rate my issue essay [#permalink] New post 22 May 2012, 08:57
hi dude. i feel ur essay is above average,
in fact- i am not an expert in reviewing the essays, i have just gone through it perfunctorily ( not seriouslY0.
there are few sentence errors & little grammatical errors,
i hope u can achieve a score of 4.5 and above.

but after all what matters finally is our zeal and poise (confidence under stress)

all the best. do post ur awa score, once when u receive
Re: please rate my issue essay   [#permalink] 22 May 2012, 08:57
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