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Cover letter

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Joined: 18 Jul 2007
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Cover letter [#permalink] New post 18 Jul 2007, 23:43
:)Could you please make some suggestions how to make this letter better. I have tried to be concise and logical. Is it readable? :)

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Fedorov Sergey. During four years of working on different IT projects I have started to believe that management consulting is what Russian manufacturers really need. Consulting is definitely the career I want to pursue and I am writing to request an invitation to interview for a business analyst position.

As a University engineer/manager undergraduate, I developed an analytic, creative mind geared towards solving complex problems. I applied and enhanced my problem solving skills as technical specialist and project engineer at Indusoft Company where I focused on analyzing production, consulting on the use of information technologies and contributing to IT Strategy realization.

At the age of 15 I started to learn about customer relationships leading my own shop. Working as presales manager I have gained valuable experience of working effectively at all levels of an organization – with client production specialists, managers and senior executives. I see consulting as a way of constant personal performance improvement and new skills development.

I have reviewed the list of company’s services and target industries and I was exited by strong potential fit I see with The COMPANY. I am particularly intrigued by oil and automotive industries experience of the company in Russia, since it fits well with my employment and academic experience. I have been incredibly impressed with all of the consultants I’ve spoken with from the company.

I have been invited to Instituto De Empresa for an interview with admission director in May 2008. Upon graduation from the business school I would be able to make even more valuable contribution to the company. It is worth mentioning that admissions committee assessment of my professional profile even strengthened my intention to pursue consulting career.

I will be happy to meet you personally and to discuss my potential impact on the company’s activity.

Sincerely,

Sergey

:)Worm thanks to you dear CORRECTORS!I appreciate your help. :)
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Re: Cover letter [#permalink] New post 20 Jul 2007, 08:07
PeaceOfMind wrote:
:)Could you please make some suggestions how to make this letter better. I have tried to be concise and logical. Is it readable? :)

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Fedorov Sergey. During four years of working on different IT projects I have started to believe that management consulting is what Russian manufacturers really need. Consulting is definitely the career I want to pursue and I am writing to request an invitation to interview for a business analyst position.

As a University engineer/manager undergraduate, I developed an analytic, creative mind geared towards solving complex problems. I applied and enhanced my problem solving skills as technical specialist and project engineer at Indusoft Company where I focused on analyzing production, consulting on the use of information technologies and contributing to IT Strategy realization.

At the age of 15 I started to learn about customer relationships leading my own shop. Working as presales manager I have gained valuable experience of working effectively at all levels of an organization – with client production specialists, managers and senior executives. I see consulting as a way of constant personal performance improvement and new skills development.

I have reviewed the list of company’s services and target industries and I was exited by strong potential fit I see with The COMPANY. I am particularly intrigued by oil and automotive industries experience of the company in Russia, since it fits well with my employment and academic experience. I have been incredibly impressed with all of the consultants I’ve spoken with from the company.

I have been invited to Instituto De Empresa for an interview with admission director in May 2008. Upon graduation from the business school I would be able to make even more valuable contribution to the company. It is worth mentioning that admissions committee assessment of my professional profile even strengthened my intention to pursue consulting career.

I will be happy to meet you personally and to discuss my potential impact on the company’s activity.

Sincerely,

Sergey

:)Worm thanks to you dear CORRECTORS!I appreciate your help. :)


PeaceOfMind,

Your written English is pretty good, but there are some idiom issues in this letter as well as some macro or larger-level missteps that you may want to correct. Unfortunately, to get specific I would have to get on a consultant-customer basis with you.

Good luck,
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Author, Great Applications for Business School and Perfect Phrases for Business School Acceptance

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