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Could you please make some suggestions how to make this letter better. I have tried to be concise and logical. Is it readable?
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Fedorov Sergey. During four years of working on different IT projects I have started to believe that management consulting is what Russian manufacturers really need. Consulting is definitely the career I want to pursue and I am writing to request an invitation to interview for a business analyst position.
As a University engineer/manager undergraduate, I developed an analytic, creative mind geared towards solving complex problems. I applied and enhanced my problem solving skills as technical specialist and project engineer at Indusoft Company where I focused on analyzing production, consulting on the use of information technologies and contributing to IT Strategy realization.
At the age of 15 I started to learn about customer relationships leading my own shop. Working as presales manager I have gained valuable experience of working effectively at all levels of an organization – with client production specialists, managers and senior executives. I see consulting as a way of constant personal performance improvement and new skills development.
I have reviewed the list of company’s services and target industries and I was exited by strong potential fit I see with The COMPANY. I am particularly intrigued by oil and automotive industries experience of the company in Russia, since it fits well with my employment and academic experience. I have been incredibly impressed with all of the consultants I’ve spoken with from the company.
I have been invited to Instituto De Empresa for an interview with admission director in May 2008. Upon graduation from the business school I would be able to make even more valuable contribution to the company. It is worth mentioning that admissions committee assessment of my professional profile even strengthened my intention to pursue consulting career.
I will be happy to meet you personally and to discuss my potential impact on the company’s activity.
Worm thanks to you dear CORRECTORS!I appreciate your help.
I have been having a shot at redrafting the letter for you. One thing I would like to ask is what the letter is for. I understand it is to interview for a job - is this full time? A long internship?
I have to wonder why, if it was a full time position, you would be telling them you plan to be absent from work to study an MBA. Maybe that fits with the job description, but if it doesn't, they are unlikely to be interested. Most people want 18-24 months out of a recruit at least, and telling them you will be away after 12 months, even if you want it to be that you return, would put a lot of people off.
I would like them to know that I have delayed admission to the business school, because it is an achievement not mentioned in resume. Probably it would be better to write that I will use this chance after 24 months of work or don’t write it at all? I will think it over.
OK - so you are admitted on a deferred entry, to start 2008?
It is not 100 percent enrollment. Something like 80 percent. In the case of getting outstanding job offer I will reconsider my career plans.
I have changed the meaning.
I am keen to tackle MBA program at Instituto De Empresa after(acquire, attain, accrue ) accumulating sufficient professional experience. Upon graduation from the business school I would be able to make even more valuable contribution to the company. It is worth mentioning that admissions committee assessment of my professional profile even strengthened my intention to pursue consulting career.