Critique my essays?

This is for the Duke MMS program. I'm working on one more essay but this is what I have so far.

Why are you pursuing the MMS degree at this stage in your professional development?
While I was working for PwC I got the opportunity to consult for major PE clients and carry out a few of the functions prior to deal making. This gave me an insight into the industry and I realised that I would like to be a bigger part of this process. However, while I had the interest and the aptitude for the industry, my undergraduate education had not adequately prepared me for it. I wish to pursue the MMS degree at this stage to develop the skills and understanding required for such roles.

What are your immediate career goals after completing the MMS program?
My immediate goal after completing the MMS program would be to find an opportunity in the financial industry within the US where I can leverage my recently acquired skills and experiences. I hope to use the career services offered by Fuqua to interact with some major finance firms that recruit on campus.

Life is full of uncertainties, and plans and circumstances can change. As a result, navigating a career requires you to be adaptable. Should the immediate goals that you provided above not materialize, what alternative directions have you considered?
In the event that my initial plan does not work out, I would try to gain an opportunity in Management Consulting where I could hone my strategic problem solving skills. I could also leverage my network in India to work in the Investment industry within the Emerging Markets.


25 things about you
1. I use movies to motivate myself from time to time, The Pursuit of Happiness (starring Will Smith) has been an important driver for my life.
2. My life growing up had been pretty tumultuous. I lived in 5 different houses in the 5 year period from when I was 11 to when I was 16 and witnessed financial struggles at an early age.
3. I was raised by a single mother and this inculcated immense respect in my mind towards women.
4. I like to talk to new people and overtime this became a great resource for me. I became the guy who always “knew a guy”.
5. I am obsessive when it comes to meeting daily productivity targets, to the extent that I can’t sleep if I feel like I have not done enough for the day.
6. My favourite cartoon show was Swat Kats and I have a number of miniature TurboKat models. I also want to fly a fighter jet someday.
7. I tend to overdress often. I once went in for an interview and all the candidates were made to sit in a conference room, I sat on the chair at the end and when another candidate walked into the room he thought I’m the executive who is taking the interviews and started apologising profusely for being late. I said “it’s cool bro” much to the amusement of others in the room.
8. I used to spend time after school solving riddles and puzzles and I still like to. I have an affinity for brain teasers.
9. I really like quiet places, they help me think more clearly.
10. I think Jimmy Page is a God
11. I used to live in the same neighbourhood as Freddie Mercury
12. I tried to be a vegetarian once, but I felt so starved that I gave up in 36 hours. It was probably psychological though.
13. I can never read a book off a screen and don’t understand how others can
14. I couldn’t swim till last year even though I live in a city surrounded by water on three sides. It took me a lot of effort to get over my fear of water.
15. I like public speaking. I feel a lot more comfortable talking to a crowd than a group of people on a table and I’m pretty good at it. Every group presentation in my undergraduate studies was presented by me.
16. I get along better with older individuals
17. I have a very strong bond with Mumbai even though it has changed tremendously over the years. I do miss the old city and the distinct character it had.
18. I have a thing for cars and ties.
19. I would like to learn how to fly someday
20. I’ve been talking to a person I have never met almost every day since the last eight years
21. I’m a very prudent person. I run numbers in my head to see if something is worth the price, which could be annoying for others.
22. I really dislike the noise of a television in the background
23. I have never had a brain freeze or a hangover
24. It’s hard for me to remember birthdays. Facebook has been my saviour since forever.
25. I developed an American accent when I was 13 from watching way too much TV and now have a very confused accent.