Hey everyone, I just started studying and practicing writing essays. Here are two of my first, both timed 30 minutes. First comes the prompt then my response. I would be so grateful for any feedback and advice, thanks!
Also, for the record I am studying for the GRE and doing a 3 month math focused study plan with
Magoosh!
Issue
Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
My Response (579 words) :
In a classroom of the public education system there are many variables that affect students and teachers; especially high school can be referred to as a “jungle.” How to improve students’ academic scores, and therefore knowledge and likelihood of success, is a constant concern for educators, school administrations and parents alike. However, teacher’s salaries should not be based on their students’ academic performances as there are too many factors that influence a student’s academic performance that are out of the teacher’s control; Furthermore, this would place more strain on an already hectic and stressful environment that is a classroom in the public education system.
At a first glance, basing an educator’s salary seems like a smart idea. Doing so would promote the teacher to always be dedicated to their job, giving their students the utmost support and implying most cutting-edge, innovative teaching strategies. Of course they would do this, because doing so directly benefits them in the form of money to better their own lives. They would also keep these habits because they love their profession and care deeply about their students, or at least one would hope. In fact, this idea seems like a glorious alternative in comparison to the system currently in place. Currently, teachers are underpaid and overworked with limited resources provided to them. Increasing their salaries as they increase their students’ academic performance would weed out the bad teacher’s who don’t care for their students’ success; teachers wouldn’t be able to get away with abusing their seniority and slacking off in classes. Competition could be healthy encouragement to be the best teacher one can be.
However, the reality is that teachers should be paid more for the insane amounts of work they do, regardless of their students’ academic performance. There are too many other factors outside of the teacher’s control that prevent this sliding income scale to be a feasible idea. A single teacher may be faced with up to 30, or more, rowdy, rambunctious, hormonal students all by themselves. There is no way that they would be able to give each student the one-on-one attention they need, and deserve, to improve their scores. Besides the chaos of the classroom, the teacher cannot begin to fathom the lives of these students outside of school. There could be children suffering from medical problems or autism, students facing bullying at school or abuse in their homes. A safe, supportive home environment conducive to learning is vital for a student to do well in school—yet this is something a teacher has no influence on.
Adding the stress of knowing that your salary depends on these wildly varying factors that you cannot bend to your will—despite all of your hard work and care for the these students—will just strain the classroom environment more so, possibly being detrimental to the students success. Another point to consider is how the students’ academic success will be measured—more than likely through standardized testing as to keep the competition fair. Not everyone does well with standardized testing as it only evaluates memorized knowledge instead of actual skills and abilities. A teacher might end up with a class who is terrible at standardized testing. The lottery of students removes all fairness from this idea—the capabilities, due to whatever reasons, of a teacher’s students will change year to year, even semester to semester. Basing their salaries off of so many unpredictable factors in the end if a cruel and unfair system.
Argument
Prompt:
According to a recent report, cheating among college and university students is on the rise. However, Groveton College has successfully reduced student cheating by adopting an honor code, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced a system in which teachers closely monitored students; under that system, teachers reported an average of thirty cases of cheating per year. In the first year the honor code was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey, a majority of Groveton students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. Thus, all COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's in order to decrease cheating among students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
My response (556 words) :
Cheating and plagiarism, especially at the university level, is a serious problem and perfidy of the higher education system. How can one expect receive an education and become a beneficial part of society if they cannot think for themselves. Installing an honor code to prevent cheating can be an effective deterrent, especially if the students under the honor code consider themselves to be mature, independent scholars. However, there are some weak points in the plan, such as why the students are cheating to begin with, what the consequences of cheating are, and differences in student bodies.
Fist of all, students of Groveton College cannot be considered a template for all college students. Student bodies and their culture and values will differ in each college. Everything from the town or city that the university is located in, what kind of institution it is, and the demographic of the students and professors will affect the way in which the students and professors view and deal with cheating. While an honor code might inspire the best behavior in the Groveton students, we cannot say the same of other student bodies. Even considering Groveton specifically, perhaps the students slowly stopped reporting cases of cheating as they realized that the professors indeed were not looking as closely.
Furthermore, in order to determine the efficiency of the honor code, we need to know in what disciplines the students were cheating and why. Maybe the cheating was a phenomenon specific to a literature class in which the professor assigned unachievable amounts of reading and essays. In an attempt to pass the class, required for their major, and save their GPAs the students resorted to last minute cheating or plagiarism. Possibly the cheating was concentrated in general education classes: massive in nature, students become lost in the system, unable to get the one-on-one help they need to understand the material, or the material is over-generalized and boring. Cheating could be used to combat these two situations in moments of desperation. It might be wiser to brainstorm ideas to solve these problems before relying on an honor system to prevent cheating; with large class sizes or overwhelming assignments it would just be easier to cheat without the professors breathing down your neck.
Another important factor to consider is the punishment for cheating. The students are probably docked points furthermore too humiliated to cheat again, but what are the incentives for turning your classmates in? If the above stated problems exist, then other students wouldn’t see any reason to expose their struggling classmates, cheating in a last ditch effort to survive the class. However, if the student gets caught cheating regardless, under the new honor system, and any accomplices or fellow students in cahoots were also punished, then the rate of cheating could legitimately decrease. In this case, there is an incentive to reporting the cheater, saving yourself from any future repercussions!
Hopefully we can consider all university students to be honorable individuals concerned with their education and futures who would respond positively to an honor system, and work together to eliminate cheating. However, the reasons behind the cheating also need to be investigated and the consequences clearly stated. Furthermore, each campus needs to be considered as a unique culture and what system would work best for it’s students and professors erase the need for cheating.