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Essay Writing: Nuts and Bolts

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Author Message
Expert Post
Admissionado
User avatar
Joined: 30 Nov 2009
Posts: 3052
Location: Chicago, IL
Schools: Brown University, Harvard Business School
Followers: 42

Kudos [?]: 496 [0], given: 29

GMAT Tests User
Essay Writing: Nuts and Bolts [#permalink] New post 31 May 2011, 07:10
Expert's post
Wahoo! Another day, another batch of new MBA consultants posting. : ) Such is the life we have chosen, I suppose.

Today folks, I want to talk about perhaps the SINGLE MOST COMMON APPLICATION MISTAKE THAT WE SEE. Thats right, I dont know that I have EVER seen an app from a first time client who doesnt make the following mistake.

SHOW ME, DONT TELL ME.
"I worked closely with my supervisors and team, and four weeks later we had worked together to beat our previous sales record by 64%."

Seems innocent enough, right? I mean golly, homeboy has even included some nice SPECIFICS here--how much he has increased his company's sales by.

But here's what he didnt do: he didnt explain HOW he did it. What, specifically, did you actually DO? If you dont explain the steps that you took, the actual phone calls you made, HOW you managed up, how you managed down, etc., the adcom will have NO idea what skills you have. No idea what you will bring to the school. Worse, yet, they may have no idea that you're even...telling the truth. : ( Oh no!

Here's the better version of the same sentence:
I picked up the phone and called my boss--I knew I would need his help, if I was going to get this change approved company-wide. After I walked him through my figures, he agreed to call the Regional VP to join us in a meeting the next day. That meeting was also a success; I walked these two superiors through a PPT presentation I had done, which ended in my asking for a company-wide memo to be sent. One week later, it was sent out, my changes were incorporated, etc etc."

You get the idea. SHOW us what you actually DID gang. Thats the key. Show us HOW you did it. If you can do that--and practically NONE of our first time clients do--you are way ahead of the game.

As always, good luck.
_________________

Jon Frank
Founder, Admissionado

Admissionado.com

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Essay Writing: Nuts and Bolts

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