Experts - Please Rate my Essay - Exam in 2 weeks - Thanks!! : Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA)
Check GMAT Club Decision Tracker for the Latest School Decision Releases http://gmatclub.com/AppTrack

 It is currently 17 Jan 2017, 22:25

### GMAT Club Daily Prep

#### Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

# Events & Promotions

###### Events & Promotions in June
Open Detailed Calendar

# Experts - Please Rate my Essay - Exam in 2 weeks - Thanks!!

Author Message
Intern
Joined: 02 Oct 2013
Posts: 6
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 0 [0], given: 1

Experts - Please Rate my Essay - Exam in 2 weeks - Thanks!! [#permalink]

### Show Tags

17 Oct 2013, 08:54
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
----------------

Argument says Americans spend far too much time buying and consuming non-essential goods and studies show on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. Based on this author concludes America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Author suggests instead of spending their time productively Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Author is suggesting Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development by pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities.

Firstly, argument is flawed because author seems to extrapolate the average number. Argument says average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. For example, there may be majority of Americans not doing so but few Americans are spending most of their time in shopping that would distort the average American time spent on shopping hence to conclude, based on this average, that America is loosing its competitive edge doesn't stand on its own

Secondly, author assumes quarter of leisure time of Americans spent on shopping is disadvantageous and waste of time, however, he seems to fail to take into account positive side of this. As Americans are spending time in shopping, this is boosting the economy, providing jobs to many and keeping people busy. May be if Americans do not spend time shopping they may indulge in other activities such as criminal, anti-social that can hurt economy and society is much worst way.

Thirdly, author is suggesting Americans to spend time on personal and communal development by pursuing educational advancement or picking up some volunteer activities. Again, author didn't take into account the geography or state of Americans. May be the place where survey was conducted do not have any volunteering opportunities, in addition, may be people who are spending their leisure time in shopping do not have options for advance education or they are not opting for that due to financial reasons.

To conclude, argument did not consider facts & figures and, also, all the positives and negatives aspects of the trend before coming to conclusion. In current state, argument doesn't stand on its own and could have been framed in much better and realistic manner if author had delved deeper into details.
Experts - Please Rate my Essay - Exam in 2 weeks - Thanks!!   [#permalink] 17 Oct 2013, 08:54
Similar topics Replies Last post
Similar
Topics:
1 Please rate my essay - GMAT in a week's time, thanks! 0 10 Aug 2016, 08:09
Please rate my GMAt essay: Exam in 2 days 0 28 Feb 2016, 21:45
please rate my awa, exam on next week! 0 23 Sep 2013, 12:47
Please rate my essay (exam in a week) 2 25 Jun 2013, 01:39
1 Please rate my AWA....argument...exam in a week 5 12 Jan 2011, 12:02
Display posts from previous: Sort by