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# get engaged before bschool?

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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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06 Mar 2009, 12:53
anyone just throwing in the towel prior to school?
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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06 Mar 2009, 13:05
If you aren't certain, wait until Christmas. I saw so many friends relationships end in the first semester as they couldn't get through it - it isn't to say it is their fault, more that the relationship couldn't stand such stress and was flawed itself.

Myself and a good friend got through it, and neither of us would tell you it was easy. Thing is - when you get through that, you know you are good to go. I would say both of us knew it would work beforehand though.
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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06 Mar 2009, 13:29
young_gun wrote:
anyone just throwing in the towel prior to school?

Most likely yours truly. (I have a pretty good excuse considering I don't live in the US now though). But it also isn't a 4 year relationship. The way I see it, there's actually probably more of a chance we'd get back together in the future if my gf and I break up this summer on amicable terms for reasons out of our control rather than try to struggle through something long-distance and have bad memories of that. But that's just me.
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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06 Mar 2009, 14:08
Be like me. Don't think about it, and hope the problem goes away JK

But some people are right though. If your relationship can't handle a few hours a part for 2 years, then it probably can't handle the next 20 years. I think if you can make it over this big hump, then you're golden.
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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09 Mar 2009, 11:33
rsp33 wrote:
Taking away the romantic considerations for a moment, people are cool with tossing an extra 10k on top of cost? Added strain if you're making payments while taking on debt. Or using money at 8.5% to pay off money at X%

Now this is where my head is at! 15K ring on top of other debt and minimal/no income. Yuck.

If she moves with me, she gets a ring (and she pays the bills while I'm in school.) She don't move, she gets NADA!
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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09 Mar 2009, 12:57
I had no trouble with the relationship angle in school. In fact, it was better than when I was working because I was actually home more often than before. There were periods when things got stressed to be sure - namely recruiting - or the week or two before finals - but otherwise, its been a real easy life.
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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09 Mar 2009, 13:35
rhyme wrote:
I had no trouble with the relationship angle in school. In fact, it was better than when I was working because I was actually home more often than before. There were periods when things got stressed to be sure - namely recruiting - or the week or two before finals - but otherwise, its been a real easy life.

sure...for those living in the same city
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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10 Apr 2011, 15:44
I think it would depend on a lot of things, may be talk to her on what she wants !!
I voted yes!
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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11 Apr 2011, 06:46
dont know if youve made a decision yet...but if she is worth it, and your relation is worth it, what is two years of difficulty when compared to a lifetime of being together?

go for it if you see yourself with her regardless of school....if you have doubts, then dont...
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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11 Apr 2011, 14:24
I am in a similar situation and with me matriculating at Duke & girlfriend at Charlotte (1 hr 50 mins drive), it was an easy decision for me. I'm getting engaged.

If you are sure that she is the one for you (irrespective of where you goto school) then do it. If you are not sure yet, then no matter where you goto school, don't do it now. Thats my 2 cents. Whether, when and where you goto school should not drive such the timing of such life decisions.
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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11 Apr 2011, 21:31
If you can't see yourself being with anyone else for the rest of your life, go for it. I would say finding your life partner is much much harder than finding a good job.
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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12 Apr 2011, 06:27
I didn't get the benefit of a choice (to propose right before b-school) since I proposed to my fiancee before I started the application process; but I am very happy with my choice. She was very supportive and traveled with me to schools when she could. This was great because she noticed some things about schools that I didn't pick up. She also provided some good feedback for my essays, but occasionally I had to reject some of her ideas.

We're both excited to move to NYC after we marry next month. She understands it's going to be tough since I'm the breadwinner; yet, she's been very supportive about this too. I think the most important thing is that we really want to spend the rest of our lives together and start a family after b-school, so it doesn't matter where we are, if we're broke for 2 years, or if I'm going to be extremely busy (especially if I choose to do IB).

If I had to choose to propose to her now with the knowledge that I'm going to b-school, I would still do it. This is the most important question you have to ask yourself: would the two of you want to be together regardless of the circumstances?
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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12 Apr 2011, 08:49
An event such as bschool or anything else for that matter shouldn't trigger a proposal. When you are ready you are ready. Plain and simple. If its before, during or after bschool then so be it. You will know when the time is right and thats when you should do it.
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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12 Apr 2011, 08:58
I have heard it is a big test to make it through winter break your first year. if you can make it through still together then pop the q!
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Re: get engaged before bschool? [#permalink]

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12 Apr 2011, 11:01
i think a lot of it can also depend on what your pre-MBA schedules were like. My wife and I started dating when I was starting off in banking and living in a different state. She got used to going up to a few weeks without seeing me or having to deal with me when I was stressed out. I also got used to doing little things to make sure that the relationship wasnt completely one sided (objectively evaluating her side before running my mouth, trekking out to jersey even if i was tired so that she wasnt always the one traveling, putting important dates into my calendar and pulling all nighters to ensure that work wouldnt interfere, etc). Over the years, my schedule has remained pretty sh*tty -there would be several week long stretches where I would leave before she woke up and would come back after she went to sleep. Her schedule has gotten worse as she has taken on more responsibility at work and we rarely overlap...days where Im home @ 6, she'll come home past 10. We got used to not setting unreasonable expectations for each other and maximizing our time together on the weekends. Im going to Yale, so I'm not expecting the 1.5 hr commute to really strain our relationship at all.
Re: get engaged before bschool?   [#permalink] 12 Apr 2011, 11:01

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