I want to leap through the screen and hug Qianss because YES YES YES -- everything below is totally right on. Getting "advice" from tons of people is a huge mistake, because everyone wants to give you their take and they'll start contradicting each other and you'll be totally confused. Most people who haven't been through this process have a very incorrect idea of what b-schools are looking for and will steer you in the right direction.
I'm also a fan of writing in a conversational tone so that your voice and personality come through. You ARE supposed to be talking to your classmates and WILL read the essay out loud to them eventually if you get in. So... would you really want to come off like a bragging, egotistical you-know-what? No. You want to come off as someone who will be cool to hang out with outside of class... but also someone who they'll definitely learn from in class. Someone who's passionate about something -- but only you know what that is, I can't advise you on that.
Don't overthink it! And no need to put a ton of "Why HBS?" stuff in there -- they KNOW why you want to go there and have never asked that question in previous versions of their app.
Also, keep it relatively succinct... HBS values clear communication, not rambling.
Good luck!
qianss wrote:
My interview is in 2 weeks, and I just spotted a typo in my application
Ah well.
Not sure if I really have any advice, but something I wish people had told me when I was working on my app is that don't let too many people to critique your essay. If you're working with a consultant or maybe a friend, definitely get their feedback as you go along, but there really is no need to ask too many people for advice. Everyone has their own narrative and their own way of expressing themselves, and while they have your best interest at heart, it is, at the end of the day, your own story, and even good advice can cloud your own sound judgment. Your way of crafting the narrative will show not just in the essay itself, but also eventually in your interview as well.
I would also read the essay out loud as well, and see whether you've written something you would actually say. The prompt, after all, is introduce yourself to your section mates, so I think rather than focus too much on the written rhetoric, focus on the content and delivering the true you instead.
Hope this helps