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"The major increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of a lack of government control over the quality of foods available at low prices. If the government placed more emphasis on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products, the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly."
To begin, there is no evidence provided to support the allegation that the foods available at low prices lacked quality to such an extent to warrant government control. The fact that foods are sold at low prices cannot prove that the foods are of low quality. There exist many types of nutritious foods that are inexpensive due to plenty of supply.
Secondly, there is no evidence provided to support the assumption that poor nutrition is a direct cause of the major increase of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade. Even if poor nutrition could be proven as a possible cause, poor nutrition must be proven as a sole cause or at least a dominating cause among other causes for the argument to be strong and valid.
Thirdly, the argument indicates a major increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade but has failed to put this increase into context relative to the specific demographics. If there had been a sharp increase of people qualifying as "adult" during the past decade, then the proportion of adult-onset diabetes cases, in terms of percentage increase, might have been the same or even lower despite the increase in true numbers.
Also, it remains to be seen how nutrition level would be raised if government placed "more emphasis" on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products.
In view of the various flaws highlighted above, the conclusion that the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly if government placed more emphasis on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products simply cannot hold a strong ground.
The conclusion can be strengthened if more relevant information such as research reports and statistics data to back up the various allegations and assumptions made. For example, the conclusion can be strengthened by providing a research report that proves poor nutrition plays a very dominant role in adult-onset diabetes and how a similar country has successfully lowered new cases of adult-onset diabetes by raising food quality by means of mandates to food manufacturers.