Find all School-related info fast with the new School-Specific MBA Forum

It is currently 28 Aug 2014, 21:32

Close

GMAT Club Daily Prep

Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track
Your Progress

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.

Events & Promotions

Events & Promotions in June
Open Detailed Calendar

Hi veritasbrian need ur help to review AOA essay

  Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  
Author Message
Manager
Manager
avatar
Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 59
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 4 [0], given: 0

Hi veritasbrian need ur help to review AOA essay [#permalink] New post 01 Dec 2010, 06:51
The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company.
“When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more
profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its
field officesHidden text (n. Hidden text ) and conduct all its
operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability
by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all
employees.”Discuss how well reasoned... etc.


The author’s argument that the company should close its field offices to increase profitability, because such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees. This line of reasoning is flawed with several fallacies and unsubstantiated assumptions.

The main assumption is that only by closing field offices and doing business centrally will increase profits is flawed. There are several other factors that affect the business of the company such as decline in the overall industry in which this company is operating, increase in the competition in the industry that has eaten the share of the apogee company, or recession in the economy has overall affected the industry. So, these factors can adversely affect the business of the company, despite of the centralization of the operation to cut the operating expenses.

Another flawed reasoning is that the centralization of the operations will help company to improve supervision of all employees. The field offices at various local locations are more effective in monitoring the field staff activities rather than centralized office in the main city. The shutting of local offices does reduce the operating costs, but at the cost of immense lost of business opportunities at local level such as cultivating new local areas for product sales or serving the customers more closely to get the repeat orders at local level by the filed offices. Thus, field offices increase the relation of company with the customers at local ore regional level more effectively than the centralized office.

The author’s extreme reasoning of closing all the field offices is unsubstantiated. There may be some of the field offices whose profitability may be the concern for the management. But, generalizing to close all the field offices may profoundly cut the contact of the company with its field staff, customers, or local channel players. This is the extreme preventive action that may backlash in the future.

To conclude, I must say that this argument is flawed with fallacies and unsubstantiated assumptions as discussed above. To make an argument more logical, the author must make some valid assumptions such as consideration of other factors: recession or overall market scenario that may affect the business and the effectiveness of the field offices in building relationships at local level. The author also need to review the extreme view point of shutting all the field offices.
1 KUDOS received
Veritas Prep GMAT Instructor
User avatar
Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Posts: 206
Followers: 97

Kudos [?]: 212 [1] , given: 20

Re: Hi veritasbrian need ur help to review AOA essay [#permalink] New post 01 Dec 2010, 15:59
1
This post received
KUDOS
Hey aimkp,

Thanks for the invite! I think this essay will work in the 4.5 range. The structure is pretty solid and definitely answers the question directly and is easy to read, so I think that's strong. My only concern with the structure is that it reads a little bit like a template - you repeat "fallacies and unsubstantiated assumptions" in both the intro and conclusion and there are a few other points that make it read a little bit like it's been machine-produced. I'd diversify those phrases just so that you say the same thing but it doesn't look as mechanical.

A few other things that I think hold this back from being a 5+:

-Your first support paragraph also begins with a "forced" line. You say "the main assumption is that only by closing offices...will increase profits is flawed." That's grammatically incorrect and also factually a little off - the assumption isn't flawed, but rather the logic is flawed because it makes the assumption. You may want to change this to say something like "One flaw in the argument is the assumption that...".

-Your second support paragraph may go a little too far - we don't know (as you write) that the field offices ARE better...we can just point out that the argument assumes that it's not the case without having proof for it. I'd tend toward using the other side of the argument as a hypothetical (the argument claims X, but Y could also be true, so it isn't entirely valid reasoning)

-That same paragraph leads with "another flawed reasoning", which isn't grammatically right either. I'd change that to "another example of flawed reasoning is..." or something like that. Because your transitions are what the reader will probably focus on, I'd make them as clear and correct as possible...I think you can get away with more mistakes in the "content" portion, but the structural portion is what you've had time to practice ahead of time so if you're putting in the effort I'd make that as clear as possible to compensate for any writing-and-thinking-quickly mistakes later.


Overall this is really strong in terms of structure and your insights into the flawed reasoning, so I'd say it definitely fits the "pass" test of hitting around 4-4.5, If you want to move that up or give yourself some room for error, I'd recommend the items above.

Good luck!
_________________

Brian

Save $100 on live Veritas Prep GMAT Courses and Admissions Consulting

Enroll now. Pay later. Take advantage of Veritas Prep's flexible payment plan options.

Veritas Prep Reviews

Manager
Manager
avatar
Joined: 02 Oct 2010
Posts: 159
Followers: 2

Kudos [?]: 6 [0], given: 29

GMAT Tests User
Re: Hi veritasbrian need ur help to review AOA essay [#permalink] New post 19 Dec 2010, 21:12
VeritasPrepBrian wrote:
Hey aimkp,

Thanks for the invite! I think this essay will work in the 4.5 range. The structure is pretty solid and definitely answers the question directly and is easy to read, so I think that's strong. My only concern with the structure is that it reads a little bit like a template - you repeat "fallacies and unsubstantiated assumptions" in both the intro and conclusion and there are a few other points that make it read a little bit like it's been machine-produced. I'd diversify those phrases just so that you say the same thing but it doesn't look as mechanical.

A few other things that I think hold this back from being a 5+:

-Your first support paragraph also begins with a "forced" line. You say "the main assumption is that only by closing offices...will increase profits is flawed." That's grammatically incorrect and also factually a little off - the assumption isn't flawed, but rather the logic is flawed because it makes the assumption. You may want to change this to say something like "One flaw in the argument is the assumption that...".

-Your second support paragraph may go a little too far - we don't know (as you write) that the field offices ARE better...we can just point out that the argument assumes that it's not the case without having proof for it. I'd tend toward using the other side of the argument as a hypothetical (the argument claims X, but Y could also be true, so it isn't entirely valid reasoning)

-That same paragraph leads with "another flawed reasoning", which isn't grammatically right either. I'd change that to "another example of flawed reasoning is..." or something like that. Because your transitions are what the reader will probably focus on, I'd make them as clear and correct as possible...I think you can get away with more mistakes in the "content" portion, but the structural portion is what you've had time to practice ahead of time so if you're putting in the effort I'd make that as clear as possible to compensate for any writing-and-thinking-quickly mistakes later.


Overall this is really strong in terms of structure and your insights into the flawed reasoning, so I'd say it definitely fits the "pass" test of hitting around 4-4.5, If you want to move that up or give yourself some room for error, I'd recommend the items above.

Good luck!



Good One...
Intern
Intern
avatar
Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Posts: 39
Followers: 1

Kudos [?]: 10 [0], given: 11

Re: Hi veritasbrian need ur help to review AOA essay [#permalink] New post 21 Dec 2010, 06:56
Few more points.

-Human Resources Constraints-Multiple locations in different cities allow the companies to cherry pick talent
-Apogee might be expansion Phase, where Investment costs are high but future returns anticipated
-Access to newer markets: Multiple locations allow product penetration and enhance mechanics of Supply chain i.e if Apogee is a Retail Dist Product
Re: Hi veritasbrian need ur help to review AOA essay   [#permalink] 21 Dec 2010, 06:56
    Similar topics Author Replies Last post
Similar
Topics:
Please review my AOA essay and give feedback, many thanks! fch76 0 28 Nov 2011, 13:51
AOA review feniris 0 11 Jun 2011, 11:06
Hi veritasbrian need ur help to review AOI essay aimkp 3 01 Dec 2010, 06:53
GUYS NEED UR HELP Tajik4GMAT 7 28 Dec 2006, 13:15
need ur help reyad 1 15 Sep 2006, 13:30
Display posts from previous: Sort by

Hi veritasbrian need ur help to review AOA essay

  Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  


GMAT Club MBA Forum Home| About| Privacy Policy| Terms and Conditions| GMAT Club Rules| Contact| Sitemap

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group and phpBB SEO

Kindly note that the GMAT® test is a registered trademark of the Graduate Management Admission Council®, and this site has neither been reviewed nor endorsed by GMAC®.