Sorry to fall behind on responses here! I think your structure here is terrific, and your thoughts on the issue are pretty strong, too. Still, somewhat as vyassaptarashi mentioned, you may have slightly missed the mark on attacking the issue at hand. I think you're pretty close to it, but as an example your third paragraph seems slightly off:
Here, you mentioned that the recent global summit is an example of global cooperation, but you don't really demonstrate WHY that's important. In a way, you need to treat your support as a way to sell your point: The summit is essential because only through mutual checks and balances will individual countries act responsibly for the whole - countries need to be accountable to one another both ethically and through more concrete measures like trade and military alliances. You did a nice job of giving an example, but you missed the "why" portion.
Your structure and examples are solid and probably net you around a 4, but to score higher I'd recommend:
-Look for the "why" in selling your point (thinking much like on a Critical Reasoning question)
-Try to have 3 support paragraphs, both for overall length and so that if one paragraph (like I said, paragraph 3...) misses the mark slightly you still have others that are dead-on
-If you can, take a paragraph to consider the opposition side ("Some countries, however, are doing excellent work independently. For example..... However, that is not enough...) and rebut it. This demonstrates that you've truly considered the entire issue.
You're certainly looking strong on structure - if you can develop your support to supplement what you're already doing I think you'll do well!
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