I understand that all these bad decisions are 100% my fault and there is nothing more I can do about it, but is there any thing I can do to make this huge unemployment gap not look so bad to business schools and future employers?
I had an employment gap right after college. Usually, there's somewhere on the app where you can explain this (other than an optional essay). Whatever you do, don't make excuses. Own it and tell the adcom what you were doing in this period. It had also better be something better than "I quit my job to study for the GMAT," because almost all applicants are able to hold down a demanding full-time job while studying for the GMAT. Did you do any volunteer work? Maybe you can explain the family situation that occurred (to the adcom, not here).
Best of luck!