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I present my first ISSUE essay

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I present my first ISSUE essay [#permalink] New post 23 Oct 2009, 06:15
ESSAY QUESTION:
“The mission of a university is to educate its students. Therefore, a professor’s pay and promotions should be based primarily on students’ evaluations of his or her courses.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The opinion that a professor’s pay and promotions should be based primarily on students’ evaluations of his or her courses,because the mission of a university is to educate its students,is an interesting one.While this idea has not yet caught on around the world uniformly,and may have it's disadvantages,I would like to argue that it will be largely beneficial.

One reason why the professor's pay and promotion should be based primarily on students’ evaluations of his or her courses,is that each professor will strive to do better than the other and try to connect with the students in the best possible way.To become successful in his field,the teacher will need to make his students happy,and will come up with innovative teaching techniques and give greater attention to their individual needs.Though this will be beneficial to both the students and the teachers,the students will be the one who will largely gain from this.This method will be contrary to the traditional approach,where teachers have their annual increment,whether or not he is indeed a good teacher or not.

Secondly,this process will help to segregate the good teachers from the best.In every profession there are people who are above par,the best in their field,and the others in the proffesion try to follow in their footsteps.In this way the benchmark becomes excelling in one's field,and this is what will exactly happen in the education field too if the said idea is implemented.

In summary,while there are arguments to be made on both sides,it is clear that if the professor's pay is based on the students' evaluation of his or her courses,it will be better for not onlt the students and the professors individually,but also for the field of education.
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Re: I present my first ISSUE essay [#permalink] New post 29 Oct 2009, 08:42
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Here's my take on this essay: you need more examples, and you need more than two sentences for your second example.

Quote:
Secondly,this process will help to segregate the good teachers from the best.In every profession there are people who are above par,the best in their field,and the others in the proffesion try to follow in their footsteps.In this way the benchmark becomes excelling in one's field,and this is what will exactly happen in the education field too if the said idea is implemented.


You don't quite explain why the process of rating teachers separates the worst from the best. You merely say that it will happen. You should mention that better teachers will generally receive better rankings, and teachers will strive to earn the best rankings possible through teaching excellence.

It never hurts to include a counterexample one can raise against your argument. In your essay for instance I might write, "Some might claim that student ratings are arbitrary and may not genuinely reflect an instructor's proficiency. Other factors such as teaching style, students' personal experiences, and curricular content may come into play, confounding the meaningfulness of teacher ratings." Then you would go on and refute this with your own arguments.

You also fail to mention pay and benefits specifically as factors causing improvements in teaching. You have to draw out why higher pay attracts better teacher and encourages better teaching. I think you need more length, at least one more example, and more developed intro and conclusion. I do like the introduction as it stands but you could preview some of the reasons you think teacher pay should be linked to rating. Good start, just crank more out.
Re: I present my first ISSUE essay   [#permalink] 29 Oct 2009, 08:42
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I present my first ISSUE essay

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