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# I would appreciate your advice on my approach

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SVP
Joined: 05 Jul 2006
Posts: 1743
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Kudos [?]: 313 [0], given: 49

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07 Nov 2008, 02:22
Dear Paul,

I hope that you are in best of health and spirits.

i would like to take your openion on my approach to answering the following essay:

Please outline your career objectives and how the MBA will help you to achieve them.

i started with my motivation and personal philosphy satnding behind my career decsions to date ( 3 lines)

a breif that sums up my experiences to date ( 4 lines)

linking my motivation and experience to my current goals ( 4 lines)

my goal ( 2.5 lines)

School specifics linkage to my goals (11 lines)

My long term goals ( 4 lines)

Conclusion ( 3 lines)

the school did not limit the answer to any given word or lines limit.

I want to safe guard myself from drifting from the question asked however , i cant logically link my goals to the school unless i outline my motives, experiences to my current goals? what do you think am i drifting or not? also what about the total essay being of around 32 lines is that ok or is it too long?

Thanking you in advance.

Regards
Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Posts: 5403
Location: Los Angeles CA
Followers: 76

Kudos [?]: 525 [0], given: 73

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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09 Nov 2008, 13:11
Yezz,

I would be concerned that starting the essay with your philosophy/motivation might be a bit too dry or abstract. Better to start with an interesting anecdote or experience that (a) captures one of your achievements and/or (b) shows where in your background your post-MBA goals come from. Briefly state your goal in one sentence at the end of this intro.

Then do a "flashback" to your career progress, mixing in some accomplishments/evidence of fast-track success with explanations for career inflection points and a sense of how your goals were evolving as your career progressed. Then give them the full goal statement in one block: short,- intermediate, and long-term.

Then state why their school, then a conclusion that refers back to your opening anecdote in some way.

Hope this helps,

_________________

Linda Abraham
Accepted ~ The Premier Admissions Consultancy
310-815-9553

Co-Author of: MBA Admission for Smarties: The No-Nonsense Guide to Acceptance at Top Business Schools

Friend Accepted on Facebook
Subscribe to Accepted's Blog

SVP
Joined: 05 Jul 2006
Posts: 1743
Followers: 6

Kudos [?]: 313 [0], given: 49

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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10 Nov 2008, 11:09
Dear Paul,

First i would like to express my gratitude for your applicable and valuable advice.

second , i would have to ask you for more advice and i hope you dont mind.

Please describe your current duties, responsibilities and position in your organisation as clearly as possible so that we may understand the depth of your experience and the contribution you can make to the MBA Programme. If applicable, include your budgetary responsibilities.

the above is not part of the application essay. but rather a straight forward request.

what do you recommend , should i adress it as an essay?

Also the scholl mentioned " as clearly as possible" does that mean to elaborate in details , if i do so it would take me a full A4 paper ...is that ok?

In my current post i manage sales and business development of a 24 member team? my budgetary responsibilities is sales and BD revenue targets only? does that answer the budget question?

Also, and due to the nature of the market i am working in, i wont be able to ask my current manager for a recomm ? in light of this question do you think this is advisable?

Thanking you in advance.

Regards
Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Posts: 5403
Location: Los Angeles CA
Followers: 76

Kudos [?]: 525 [0], given: 73

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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13 Nov 2008, 21:01
Yes, you should answer this question as an essay. For budgets use numbers if you can. You want to give them as exact and concrete a sense of your responsibilities as you can. Regarding the recommender, it's not unusual for applicants to ask someone other than their direct supervisor for a recommendation, so it's not a deal-breaker.
_________________

Linda Abraham
Accepted ~ The Premier Admissions Consultancy
310-815-9553

Co-Author of: MBA Admission for Smarties: The No-Nonsense Guide to Acceptance at Top Business Schools

Friend Accepted on Facebook
Subscribe to Accepted's Blog

SVP
Joined: 05 Jul 2006
Posts: 1743
Followers: 6

Kudos [?]: 313 [0], given: 49

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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14 Nov 2008, 06:04
Thanks Paul, I am much obliged.

Regards
SVP
Joined: 05 Jul 2006
Posts: 1743
Followers: 6

Kudos [?]: 313 [0], given: 49

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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19 Nov 2008, 08:11
Hi Paul,

Hope all is fine. i wonder how much it will cost me and how long it will take you to have you ( in person) proof read, improve and correct a set of 5 essays.Also is the process includes some sort of interaction between you and i.

regards
Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Posts: 5403
Location: Los Angeles CA
Followers: 76

Kudos [?]: 525 [0], given: 73

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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21 Nov 2008, 21:25
Yezz,

That depends on what shape your essays are in and how well you write etc. I'd be happy to give you a free time estimate if you send your essays to me at pbodine@accepted.com. As a ballpark I would say 3-5 hours depending again on how much work they need and how much editing you want me to do. Accepted.com's base rate is $250 per hour but you can drop that to as low as$210 per hour by buying 10 hours in advance.

Look forward to reviewing your essays,
--Paul

_________________

Linda Abraham
Accepted ~ The Premier Admissions Consultancy
310-815-9553

Co-Author of: MBA Admission for Smarties: The No-Nonsense Guide to Acceptance at Top Business Schools

Friend Accepted on Facebook
Subscribe to Accepted's Blog

SVP
Joined: 05 Jul 2006
Posts: 1743
Followers: 6

Kudos [?]: 313 [0], given: 49

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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22 Nov 2008, 06:51
Thanks Paul for your warm and informative reply, One i put my essays in the best shape i can make ( i expect something like another week) i will send them to you to get the estimated cost and see if i might be able to afford it.

Regards
Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Posts: 5403
Location: Los Angeles CA
Followers: 76

Kudos [?]: 525 [0], given: 73

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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22 Nov 2008, 13:48
SVP
Joined: 05 Jul 2006
Posts: 1743
Followers: 6

Kudos [?]: 313 [0], given: 49

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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26 Nov 2008, 10:11
Hi Paul,

It's me again.

i wonder if you can direct me on this essay too.

What single event or achievement has been most significant in your life? What were the results of this event or achievement?

One of my biggest achievements ever was 4 years ago in my second leadership role, i volunteered to turn around a troubled unit of business and it was a great success.. is that too old?

Also, i am approaching the answer through telling a story.

The company was considering closing this unit, i was running the best unit in the business, however i volunteered to turn the troubled unit around.

i then go through the process of problem identification, formation of alternative solutions , implimenting and achieving reults.

am i going in the right direction??

also , i will end the essay with why i consider this my biggest achievement.

the whole essay would be some sort of analogy to the role i want to assume after MBA ( CONSULTANT)... IS THAT OK??

ALSO THE SCHOOL DOES NOT SPECIFY ANY WORD COUNT LIMITS, AND I BELEIVE I MIGHT REACH AROUND 800 WARDS , IS THAT OK??

I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR ADVICE AND I THANK YOU IN ADARDVANCE.

REGARDS
Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Posts: 5403
Location: Los Angeles CA
Followers: 76

Kudos [?]: 525 [0], given: 73

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach [#permalink]

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27 Nov 2008, 14:42
Yezz,

I think we've reached the point where I'd prefer to get on a consultant-client basis with you before offering anymore advice. You can reach me at pbodine@accepted.com.

Good luck,

_________________

Linda Abraham
Accepted ~ The Premier Admissions Consultancy
310-815-9553

Co-Author of: MBA Admission for Smarties: The No-Nonsense Guide to Acceptance at Top Business Schools

Friend Accepted on Facebook
Subscribe to Accepted's Blog

Re: I would appreciate your advice on my approach   [#permalink] 27 Nov 2008, 14:42
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# I would appreciate your advice on my approach

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