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Please review my essay for IELTS Writing Task 2

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Please review my essay for IELTS Writing Task 2 [#permalink] New post 28 Jul 2013, 05:24
Please review my following essay. Many thanks!

Topic: Space travel has been possible for some time. Some people think that space tourism will probably be developed.
What are the positives and negatives about it? Give your own opinion.

Essay:
People have different views about whether commercial space travel is a positive or negative development. While there are some arguments in favor of this nascent business, I personally believe that its drawbacks definitely far outweigh its benefits.

One the one hand, several people argue that the expected growth of space tourism in the years ahead would be beneficial to human society for some reasons. Firstly, companies in this new-born industry would offer citizens various employment opportunities with positions, such as pilots, cabin attendants, ground-control staff and travel agents, being in high demand. This is extremely essential for the recovery of the global economy, especially when more and more people are made redundant due to recent economic crises. In addition, tourism revenue generated by business activities would finance future space exploration, which hopefully shed light on the fantastically complex universe and its origin.

However, I put forward the view that travelling to outer space is not as good as it appears to be. One of the main reasons for my belief is that tourists would have to deal with many unforeseen risks once they were sent into the orbit. For example, they, with prolonged exposure to harmful radiation from the sun, are more likely to suffer from skin cancer later in their lives. There are also concerns about the carbon footprints of space tourism flight. The black soot emitted by passenger spacecraft, which contains an abundant amount of carbon, readily absorb sunlight, which exacerbates the global warming issue in the earth.

In conclusion, although it is impossible to deny the good points of space tourism like job creation and profit, it seems to me that they would be completely offset by the disadvantages, for instance, health risk and environmental impact.
Please review my essay for IELTS Writing Task 2   [#permalink] 28 Jul 2013, 05:24
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Please review my essay for IELTS Writing Task 2

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