Issue:"To worry or not to worry". Suggestions Req. : Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA)
Check GMAT Club Decision Tracker for the Latest School Decision Releases http://gmatclub.com/AppTrack

 It is currently 19 Jan 2017, 03:53

### GMAT Club Daily Prep

#### Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

# Events & Promotions

###### Events & Promotions in June
Open Detailed Calendar

# Issue:"To worry or not to worry". Suggestions Req.

Author Message
Intern
Joined: 25 Jul 2010
Posts: 15
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 6 [0], given: 6

Issue:"To worry or not to worry". Suggestions Req. [#permalink]

### Show Tags

05 Jan 2011, 21:29
Looking for a rating and suggestions to improve.

------------------------------------------------
Issue:
“Too many people think only about getting results. The key to success, however, is to focus on the specific task
at hand and not to worry about results.”
What do you think this piece of advice means, and do you think that it is, on the whole, worth following? Support

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, to stay focussed on the specific task at hand is one issue and not to worry about results is another.These two things affect each other in more than one way. If we worry too much we might lose focus on the present task. More importantly, if we do not worry at all we might not even get any results.I am firmly of the view that a little bit of worry is necessary to achieve results. To not to let you worry is to not let yourself desire and sweat out for some goal.

The chief reason for my view is that worrying about the results helps in providing constant long term and short term vision for an individual. One has to think of ones aims in life and check periodically whether one is treading the right path. This needs a mind constantly aware of ones larger goal and present shortcomings,both of which are achieved by worrying about the results. Worrying is like a prevention mechanism designed to ensure that one works hard to overcome present shortcomings and stays focussed on the larger task at hand. For instance, for my two year preparation for JEE,toughest engineering exam in India, it was my day to day worry which used to keep me focussed for such a long span of time.

Secondly, worrying provides the necessary anixiety and pressure for an individual to really act. Had there been no pressure on me to get a good rank in JEE I would have wasted my time watching movies and reading novels. It was the constant worry which inspired me along my two year preparation. Anxiety,desire and inspiration and worrying, acoording to psychoanalysts, are complexly interrelated. They both feed and grow on each other. Absence of anyone ensures absence of others. Thus, if one wants to achieve anything one needs to worry a bit.

However, some,if not many, are of the view that worrying leads to a lot of nervousness which affects the performance of task at hand. But we are humans and not robots. We cannot feel totally detached from our aims. Hence, there is bound to be some nervousness if we fall short of our aims. And it is precisely worrying, the nature of humans which differentiates them from machines, to work harder and overcome the present shortcoming. On the other hand, a robot will not work harder since it is not designed to worry.

To sum up, worrying is part of human psychology and day to day affair.It helps in providing us with a vision in our lives and continual inspiration to achieve the same. To develop a habit of not to worry will make life dull as it will be devoid of short term and long term goals. Therefore, I stand firmly with my view.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Argument:

The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial:
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects.
The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive
achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds
to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout
the curriculum.”
Discuss how well reasoned … etc.

----------------------------------------

The argument conspiculously never mentions how computers really affected the dropout rate. It just presents one plausible cause and and a dramatic decline in dropout rate. And then without addressing other issues, it assumes computers were the sole reason for the decline in dropout rate. Moreover, the argument concludes that using interactive computer session would be beneficial to other schools as well. This is a little farfetched conclusion. Keeping all these flaws in view, the present argument is unconvincing.

Firslty, the argument never discusses how really computer helped achieve the decline in dropout rate. And then blindly it goes on to assume that the same results would follow if this policy is pursued further. However, it might be that the three subjects for which the computers were used had a poor and an uninteresting faculy. Faculty of other subjects might be upto the mark. Or it could be some economic or social factor which led to decline in the dropout rate.Thus,using the same policy for other subjects is not advisale since faculty of other subjects might be doing a better job.

Secondly, the argument draws out a conclusion for other schools as well. Other schools might have some other issues which might lead to high dropout rates such as locality,teenage pregnancies etc.If these are issues, then using interactive computer instruction would definitely not help in achieving lower drop out rate. A medication is recommended only when the cause of the disease is known. Since, the argument never mentions issues with other schools it is lame to draw out a conclusion for them.

However, the argument can be made thorough and persuasive.Most importantly, it should analyse the reasons for the dropout rate and how interactive computer instruction helps resolve those issues.Once, this is done one would be in a better position to gauge the effects if the same policy is pursued further. Further, it should refrain from drawing out conclusions for other schools since one is unaware of the problems faced by them. This is simply out of the scope of the argument.

To sum up, the argument in its present shape is weak.It can be strengthened provided it carries out the changes endorsed above.

------------------------------------------------------
Knewton GMAT Instructor
Joined: 04 Jan 2011
Posts: 55
Location: NY, NY
Schools: BA New School, PhD Candidate CUNY
Followers: 31

Kudos [?]: 93 [1] , given: 0

Re: Issue:"To worry or not to worry". Suggestions Req. [#permalink]

### Show Tags

06 Jan 2011, 14:28
1
KUDOS
Issue Essay: 4/6

After the first paragraph, your essay settles into a nice rhythm, discussing your JEE experience as a specific example, and staying close to the thesis that "It is better to worry." However, the first paragraph commits one of the cardinal sins of the Issue Essay: It seems as though you try to say that the issue you want to talk about isn't exactly the same as the prompt given (especially when you try to differentiate the two issues). This error is repeated in the Conclusion, when you seem to change the issue to whether or not one's life is "dull." The topic was about "success," and we must stay on this topic. Even when altering the topic as such is very tempting and more in line with what you genuinely think -- never do this! Treat the Issue Prompt as if it were sacred and focus entirely on this issue alone.

In addition, your counterexample paragraph could be improved. While you introduce the opposing argument well, you never clearly refute it, and that's what they're looking for on this essay. The issue of robots is a bit distracting, although I see where you were going with it: make sure to sum up this paragraph always with something that clearly re-asserts your thesis, such as, here, "Worry actually helps humans to work harder." This keeps your essay on-task.

Finally, try to stay away from philosophizing as much as possible. It's not so bad in this essay, but I've seen it many times before. Avoid language like "One has to think of one's aims in life and check periodically whether one is treading the right path." This is vague and abstract and not what the GMAT is looking for here. As I said, you don't really do this much here, but try to avoid it in the future anyway.

Overall, a very good essay, but not a great one. Definitely not very far from being excellent.

Argument Essay: 5/6

This is an excellent essay and your analysis of the argument and its flaws is superb. A few small grammar mistakes -- such as beginning a new sentence with "and" instead of joining two sentences as such -- mar the overall product, but that is not essential to your AWA score on the GMAT. Furthermore, sometimes your tone is a little inappropriate. Don't try to dramatize the Argument's flaws by accusing it of doing things "blindly," and don't judge it with harsh words like "lame." Simply state that it's flawed because it contains unsubstantiated assumptions and unemotionally address these issues.

My chief concern in this otherwise excellent example of an Argument Essay is with a small but significant mis-step in the Conclusion: when you suggest taking out the part about other schools. Don't try to alter the Argument's conclusion, only its logic. That is, instead of strengthening the argument by suggesting a piece of it be removed, think of what you could add to justify the given Conclusion, this keeping yourself focused on how to improve THIS argument, not a different argument. For instance, here, if the author included evidence that the entire school district shares socioeconomic factors and perform similarly on statewide tests, it might be more reasonable to conclude that what works for Nova may work for other schools. This kind of strengthener keeps your essay focused on the given argument, without altering it.
_________________

--
GMAT Instructor
Knewton, Inc.

View Knewton's latest discount for GMAT Club members.

Re: Issue:"To worry or not to worry". Suggestions Req.   [#permalink] 06 Jan 2011, 14:28
Similar topics Replies Last post
Similar
Topics:
ISSUE 0 29 Aug 2016, 07:48
Hi, Can you please evaluate my issue.And suggest improvement tips 0 06 Feb 2015, 22:10
Please Grade/comment/suggest on my AWA ESSAY: Analyze Issue 2 15 Jun 2011, 15:46
Issue 0 19 Jan 2011, 20:52
1 ISSUE 4 04 Jul 2010, 09:26
Display posts from previous: Sort by