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Jokes form the teacher-polyglot

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Jokes form the teacher-polyglot [#permalink] New post 14 Sep 2009, 21:07
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***
One day the students asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:
“Why do you ignore guides and test-books in English published in Cambridge or Oxford?”
“The matter is that in this world only a fish doesn’t know what water is, because it knows only water. And only the English people don’t know what English is, because they know only English.”


***
One day a student asked the teacher-polyglot:
What is the particularity of Russians?”
“Well, The Russians are different from other Europeans. When a Spaniard was modeling the guitar, he was thinking about Woman, that’s because this musical instrument has such a form. When an Italian was modeling the violin, he was thinking about Woman as well. And a Ukrainian, who modeled the bandura, thought about a Woman, his own woman. But I can’t understand: what was a Russian thinking about when he was modeling his balalaika?”


***
Once a man disappointed in marriage asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:
“Why are girls so beautiful, so charming, so clever like angels, but women are so bad, so boring, and so stupid like witches?”
“That’s because God created the girl, and the man made the woman from the girl,” explained the teacher.

***
One day in one house at a party there was a typical talk among guests:
“Do you know how much does a new model of Volvo cost now?”
“Do you know how much does the medicine treatment cost now?”
Suddenly the teacher-polyglot, who had kept silence, intruded into this conversation:
“Let’s talk about music?”
“About music? Do you know how much does a new piano cost now?”


***
One day the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk read a lecture for his students:
“The fiction literature of the future is aphorisms. The classical novel of the past was several aphorisms and word water.”
“What about the Bible?” asked one student.
“The Bible consists of aphorisms and water, but the holy water.”


***
One day during a lesson the teacher-polyglot scolded one schoolgirl.
“What are you thinking about when you should listen to?”
“I try to imagine how people kiss each other, how dogs lick each other. But I can’t imagine how hedgehogs go it?”
“How do hedgehogs it?” the teacher repeated the question. “I think they do it very, very carefully.”


***
One day the students asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:
“What will happen to Ukraine if Russia raises its prices of oil and gas twice as high as they are just now?
“Then only wonder will save us,” replied the teacher.
“Do you think that Ukraine has no chance to be an independent state?”
“Why, no chance?” objected the teacher. “But, wonder!”
Manager
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Joined: 01 Jul 2009
Posts: 193
GMAT 1: 720 Q50 V35
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Kudos [?]: 12 [0], given: 25

Re: Jokes form the teacher-polyglot [#permalink] New post 25 Sep 2009, 14:44
HEheheheh :DD I liked the jokes. :D
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Joined: 01 Jul 2009
Posts: 193
GMAT 1: 720 Q50 V35
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Kudos [?]: 12 [0], given: 25

Re: Jokes form the teacher-polyglot [#permalink] New post 25 Sep 2009, 14:45
Are these jokes Russian/Ukrainian?
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Re: Jokes form the teacher-polyglot   [#permalink] 25 Sep 2009, 14:45
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