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Kindly rate my awa

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Author Message
Manager
Manager
avatar
Status: Persevering
Joined: 15 May 2013
Posts: 224
Location: India
Concentration: Technology, Leadership
GMAT Date: 08-02-2013
GPA: 3.7
WE: Consulting (Consulting)
Followers: 1

Kudos [?]: 53 [0], given: 34

GMAT ToolKit User
Kindly rate my awa [#permalink] New post 31 Jul 2013, 09:20
32. The following appeared in the editorial section of a West Cambria newspaper.
“A recent review of the West Cambria volunteer ambulance service revealed a longer average response time to accidents than was reported by a commercial ambulance squad located in East Cambria. In order to provide better patient care for accident victims and to raise revenue for our town by collecting service fees for ambulance use, we should disband our volunteer service and hire a commercial ambulance service.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

My response

The author's conclusion in the given argument is that in order to provide better patient care the volunteer ambulance service be disbanded and a new commercial ambulance service be hired. To accomplish the aforementioned goal the author also suggests that a service fees be charged for ambulance use. However, the argument is not convincing for a couple of reasons.

First, to justify the need for a commercial ambulance service,the author cites a review, which reveals that the average response time of volunteer ambulance service in west cambria is lower than the response time of commercial ambulance service in east cambria. But author fails to consider that the response time being compared is of different regions and factors such as traffic congestion may cause response time of one region to be more than that of the other region. Also by comparing only the response time author might be overlooking other important criterias such as the advanced life saving equipment present on-board the ambulance. It might be the case that the volunteer service ambulance's are more advanced and provide these features which might have more impact on patient care than the response time.

Second, the author suggests that in order to achieve the goal of using commercial ambulance service, a fee be charged, but the author fails to provide additional support that whether people in west cambria can afford the fee that is going to be charged. It might be the case that people in west cambria cannot actually afford this fee and hence must rely on the volunteer service.

In light of the above, i feel that argument is not convincing and it can be strengthened if the author can provide more reasons to support his conclusion and address the concerns raised above.
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Expert Post
Manhattan GMAT Instructor
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Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 197
Followers: 6

Kudos [?]: 23 [0], given: 0

Re: Kindly rate my awa [#permalink] New post 31 Jul 2013, 17:14
Expert's post
IMHO, I think this probably falls somewhere between a 3.5 and a 4.0. There are some word errors -- 'a service fees be charged'; there are some run-on sentences; and, it would be great if your argument had three main points of equal length. Yours has only two, and the second argument is much shorter than the first.

Feel free to try again and I'd be happy to take a look.

Thanks.

-Brian
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Manager
Manager
avatar
Status: Persevering
Joined: 15 May 2013
Posts: 224
Location: India
Concentration: Technology, Leadership
GMAT Date: 08-02-2013
GPA: 3.7
WE: Consulting (Consulting)
Followers: 1

Kudos [?]: 53 [0], given: 34

GMAT ToolKit User
Re: Kindly rate my awa [#permalink] New post 31 Jul 2013, 21:15
Here another shot at it !

The author's conclusion in the given argument is that in order to provide better patient care the volunteer ambulance service be disbanded and a new commercial ambulance service be hired. To accomplish the aforementioned goal the author also suggests that a service fees be charged for ambulance use. However, the argument is not convincing for a couple of reasons.

First, to justify the need for a commercial ambulance service,the author cites a review, which reveals that the average response time of volunteer ambulance service in west cambria is lower than the response time of commercial ambulance service in east cambria. The author though fails to consider that the response time being compared is of different regions and factors such as traffic congestion, poor road infrastructure may cause response time of one region to be more than that of the other region,causing the response time of ambulance service in west cambria to be higher than the response time of commercial ambulance service in east cambria.

Second, the author suggests that a service fees be charged in order to raise revenue for the introduction of commercial ambulance service, but the author fails to provide additional support that whether people in west cambria can afford the fee that is going to be charged. If the people in west cambria cannot afford the service fee for ambulance use and the volunteer service is also disbanded, they will not be able to use either of the ambulance service. The scenario mentioned is actually much worse than having to bear with low response time of existing ambulance service.

Finally, by comparing only the response time author might be overlooking other important criterias such as the advanced life saving equipment present on-board the ambulance. It might be the case that the ambulances currently being used in west cambria are more advanced with respect to such features than the ambulances being used in east cambria. If true,the mentioned scenario strongly suggests that people will be better off by using the existing volunteer ambulance service than by using the commercial ambulance service.

In light of the above, i feel that argument is not convincing and it can be strengthened if the author can provide more reasons in support of his conclusion and address the concerns as raised above.
_________________

--It's one thing to get defeated, but another to accept it.

Re: Kindly rate my awa   [#permalink] 31 Jul 2013, 21:15
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