Find all School-related info fast with the new School-Specific MBA Forum

It is currently 20 Nov 2014, 20:45

Close

GMAT Club Daily Prep

Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track
Your Progress

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.

Events & Promotions

Events & Promotions in June
Open Detailed Calendar

Pleae help me assess my Analysis of an Issue.

  Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  
Author Message
Manager
Manager
avatar
Joined: 06 Aug 2011
Posts: 60
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Finance
GPA: 3.87
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 5 [0], given: 1

Pleae help me assess my Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 12 Nov 2011, 18:47
I scored a 3.5 and would like to know how to bring it up. The question is from Veritas.

----------------------

Issue:
"All groups and organizations should function as teams in which everyone makes decisions and shares responibilities and duties. Giving one person central authority and responsibility for aproject or task is not an effective way to get work done."

===

Instruction:
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above? Support your views with resons and/or specific examples drawn from your own work or school experiences, your observations, or your reading.

===

My response:
I greatly disagree with the opinion expressed above. While team work and respect should remain strong in any organization, companies are very much capable of thriving under one person who is given central authority. For example, Sam Walton, Bill Gates and Andrew Carnegie were only able to achieve the extreme success experienced by their companies because they were unrestrained with respect to co-managers or other powers from whom they would have had to attain agreement. In fact, the three above-mentioned individuals were severely discouraged, warned and ridiculed by peers and colleagues. Had it been necessary to secure agreement with any of these peers or colleagues, Carnegie may have never established the steel company that practically consumed all demand for steel at the time. Likewise, if walton would have been just one of many managers he may have never had the opportunity to turn a small variety store in east Arkansas - a shop that was realizing deeper and deeper debt due to the multiple other variety stores in the vacinity - and eventually turn it into the massive corporation we know today as Walmart.

Furthermore, in reading biographical content regarding the life or business ventures of Warren Buffett, the financial magnate, one could easily deduce that his creative waters were allowed to flow far and wide only because of the lack of outside counsel or opinion that would have otherwise dammed up its cureent. Robert Hagstrom, in his book, "The Warren Buffett Way," explains that Buffett, by far the world's most successful financier of all time, is a pioneer in his philosophies and alone in his principles. Though people have studied Buffett and Buffett has been more than generous with his knowledge, financial managers, professors and businessmen the world over continue to preach and practice finance and business in a way that directly contradicts Buffetts beliefs. If any of them had been co-managers with Buffett, they would have done nothing more than water down his success.

===

Analysis:
This response provides competent analysis of ideas; develops and supports main points with relevant reasons and/or examples; is adequately organized; conveys meaning with reasonable clarity; demonstrates satisfactory control of sentence structure and language usage, but may have some errors that affect clarity.
Veritas Prep GMAT Discount CodesKnewton GMAT Discount CodesGMAT Pill GMAT Discount Codes
Manager
Manager
avatar
Joined: 06 Aug 2011
Posts: 60
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Finance
GPA: 3.87
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 5 [0], given: 1

Re: Pleae help me assess my Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 13 Nov 2011, 19:48
Come on, guys. Someone must be willing or able to throw a little light on this. I'm on the verge of desperate and need some help from some of those IQ points so prevelant on this board. Please!
1 KUDOS received
Intern
Intern
User avatar
Affiliations: Stratus Prep
Joined: 14 Nov 2011
Posts: 3
Location: United States
Concentration: Finance
Schools: Duke (Fuqua) - Class of 2008
GMAT 1: 770 Q50 V46
GPA: 3.5
WE: Law (Consulting)
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 6 [1] , given: 0

Re: Pleae help me assess my Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 14 Nov 2011, 18:11
1
This post received
KUDOS
Your biggest issue in your response is the structure of your analysis not the analysis itself. You do a great job of bringing forth relevant examples, but your thought process is all over the place. Stick to the basics: a 5-paragraph essay that you learned in high school is the best route: opener with thesis, three different examples, and a conclusion. Sounds bland, but structure is one of the most important parts.
Manager
Manager
avatar
Joined: 06 Aug 2011
Posts: 60
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Finance
GPA: 3.87
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 5 [0], given: 1

Re: Pleae help me assess my Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 14 Nov 2011, 22:17
Thanks a bunch, man. Glad someon finally threw some help my way. I'll get to work practicing that.
Expert Post
Manhattan GMAT Instructor
User avatar
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 407
Followers: 134

Kudos [?]: 252 [0], given: 12

Re: Pleae help me assess my Analysis of an Issue. [#permalink] New post 15 Nov 2011, 23:20
Expert's post
I second everything Jim said. You also need to make your essay quite a bit longer. Although it doesn't have to literally be 5 paragraphs (as long as it follows that format), if it has 4 paragraphs, your body paragraphs should be quite substantial. Your conclusion paragraph doesn't have to be extensive (I have scored a 6 with a one-sentence conclusion), you absolutely *must* have one! Otherwise, it looks like you were unable to finish.

Your initial paragraph starts out well, but it should only serve to introduce your ideas. Save any substantial description of your examples for the body paragraphs. Also, watch your sentence structure--some of those sentences were a little too long and involved. (For instance: Though people have studied Buffett and Buffett has been more than generous with his knowledge, financial managers, professors and businessmen the world over continue to preach and practice finance and business in a way that directly contradicts Buffetts beliefs.) Remember that one of your graders will be a computer, and the other will be a human who is spending all day plowing quickly through essays like yours. Make your essay easy to follow, with a very obvious structure.

By the way, although you will *not* be judged on the factual accuracy of your examples, I'm not sure the bit about Carnegie is true. He had a number of active partners, and he was not directly responsible for the management or day-to-day operations of his companies (he spent much of his time in New York and Europe, far from his Pittsburgh facilities). However, it's true that he did tend to take charge of whatever he got involved with, so he is a good choice to support the larger point you're trying to make.

I hope this helps!
_________________


Dmitry Farber | Manhattan GMAT Instructor | New York


Manhattan GMAT Discount | Manhattan GMAT Course Reviews | View Instructor Profile |
Manhattan GMAT Reviews

Re: Pleae help me assess my Analysis of an Issue.   [#permalink] 15 Nov 2011, 23:20
    Similar topics Author Replies Last post
Similar
Topics:
Help! please rate my analysis of an issue rb90 2 24 Sep 2010, 20:53
Analysis of an issue... Please rate me samidh 1 24 Sep 2010, 00:55
Please evaluate my analysis of issue mojorising800 2 18 Jan 2010, 13:34
Help me evaulate my analysis of an argument. vinayaksatapute 1 06 Jan 2010, 19:27
Experts publish their posts in the topic pls help me with my experience issue!!! devansh_god 1 01 Mar 2006, 01:13
Display posts from previous: Sort by

Pleae help me assess my Analysis of an Issue.

  Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  


cron

GMAT Club MBA Forum Home| About| Privacy Policy| Terms and Conditions| GMAT Club Rules| Contact| Sitemap

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group and phpBB SEO

Kindly note that the GMAT® test is a registered trademark of the Graduate Management Admission Council®, and this site has neither been reviewed nor endorsed by GMAC®.