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Please comment on my argument

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Please comment on my argument [#permalink] New post 24 Apr 2010, 18:36
Can anyone please comment or rate this argument?

Argument is

"Art and music have long been understood to have therapeutic effects for individuals who suffer from either physical or mental illnesses. However, most doctors rarely recommend to patients some form of art or music therapy. Instead, doctors focus almost all of their attention on costly drug treatments and invasive procedures that carry serious risks and side-effects. By focusing on these expensive procedures rather than low-cost treatments such as art and music therapy, doctors are doing a disservice to their patients and contributing to the rising cost of health care in the United States."

Below mentioned is my essay for the argument,

Usage of high-cost treatments rather than less expensive procedures by doctors to treat patients is controversial these days. In the preceding statement, author claims that using expensive procedures doctors are not only performing improper service but also contributing to high health care costs in the United States. Though the author’s claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument, based on several questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers; we cannot accept the author’s argument as valid.

The primary issue with the author’s reasoning lies on its unsubstantiated premises. Author didn’t provide any support how art and music did treat physical or mental illness in patients. Also author didn’t mention what kind of art and music is used for treating patients. Are doctors taught with usage of art and music for medical treatments during their academics? If not taught, doctors will not be confident enough to use Art and Music in treating patients. The author’s premises, the basis for its argument, lack any legitimate evidentiary support and render its conclusion unacceptable.

In addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven. The author weakens his or her argument by making assumptions and failing to provide explication links between usage of costly drug treatments and occurrence of side-effects in parents author assumes exists.

While the author does have several key issues in his or her argument’s premises and assumptions that is not to say that the entire argument is without base. Addition of premise such as art and music therapy is cheaper than drug treatments and procedures would strengthen the argument. And also provide evidence to premise, any kind of physical or mental illness can be treated with art and music therapy. Author should prove that costly drug treatments and invasive procedures always carry risks and side-effects. Author should confirm whether art and music therapy can treat patients within less time than drug treatments and procedures do. Though there are several issues with the author’s reasoning at present, with research and clarification, author could improve his argument significantly.

In sum, the author’s illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render its conclusion invalid. If the author truly hopes to change argument’s readers’ minds on the issue, author would have to largely restructure his or her argument, fix the flaws in its logic, clearly explicate its assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things, author poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.

Thanks,
Naidu
Please comment on my argument   [#permalink] 24 Apr 2010, 18:36
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