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Please evaluate AWA..[Argument task] [#permalink]
15 Aug 2012, 03:10
Hi I am writing argument task essay.
Its my fist attempt.
Please find errors and suggest some tips.
The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
With the rise in the enrollement in the Buckingham college the student housing recommend to build new dormatories in order to cope up with coming rise of students.But the reasons the housing gave are not sufficient enough to prove that this project should be implemented.THey gave many reasons but neither of them seem cogent.
The assumption,looking at the present trend of enrollement will have same effect for the coming 50 years is inadequate.There are numerous factors which decide the trend.For example,nowdays the students enrolling for studying engineering looking at the trend of the world.It is also possible that in further years the trend changed from engineering to medicine studies and which the college cannot provide to student,resulting in less enrollment.Looking at the present increase in enrollement it might be possible that new colleges are opened of an affiliated and reputed college which is offering quality education and better facilities,declining the enrollment of Buckingham college.The efficacy of any college depends upon the structure of cirriculum and how much the faculty is efficient to meet the demands of students.If in the coming year due to change in faculty which might be not efficient enough ,will decrease the popularity of the college.
A huge budget will be required to build the dormatories.If the current enrollment will not met in future then there will be chances that college can become bankrupt in future year.And if to meet this huge budget,it is possible that the college will augment the fees of the students.This will directly effect those students who are impoverish and had taken loans for fulfilling their fees.Moreover,increasing fees will make students to see more other options due to which enrollment can be effected.
The student housing mentioned that due to increase in apartment rents students will find it difficult to afford.In order to prove this point he/she should also specify by how much the amount there is difference.For a few dollar difference , it is not wise to build and plan such huge budget plan.Students can also live and stay in groups which will divide the house rent and reduce the overall rent.Moreover,though after providing new dormitories student feels bound in colleges due to various rules and regulations and opt for apartment instead.
A student enrolled in college to gain knowledge and to study rather than to enjoy the new accommodations .Yes,I agree that these accommodations add to the college reputation and facilities but the primary purpose of the college should be providing latest, advanced and quality of education
In sum,I would like to say that it is not a wise decision to build dormatories looking into the present trend of enrollment.The argument of the author is ,therefore,unconvincing.