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Please evaluate my analysis of issue

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Manager
Manager
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Status: Its Wow or Never
Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Posts: 208
Location: India
Concentration: Technology, Strategy
GMAT 1: 670 Q47 V35
GMAT 2: 710 Q48 V40
WE: Information Technology (Computer Software)
Followers: 5

Kudos [?]: 40 [0], given: 7

GMAT Tests User
Please evaluate my analysis of issue [#permalink] New post 18 Jan 2010, 13:34
Human nature dictates that every action, no matter how selfless it appears, is inspired by a selfish reason.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the above opinion. Support your position with reasons and examples from your own experience, observations of others, or reading.




The issue of whether every action,no matter how selfless,is inspired by a selfish reason is controversial.On the one hand, some people suggest that a selfless act is not driven by any selfish reason.On the other hand, some other people suggest that every action,no matter how selfless it appears,is driven by selfish reasons.However,On my final analysis,I find that every selfless act is not necessarily driven by selfish reasons.
Firstly,an act of giving is the best form of a selfless act which does not have any selfish reasons associated with it.It is the most noble cause and it has been prevalent in the human civilization for centuries.There is little that a person can achieve by donating to the needy and the helpless.The main reason for such an act is only goodwill and no selfish reason can justify such an act.For example, there are so many people,around the world, in every society who donate to the charitable institutions which in turn help the poor,needy and the homeless.These people are driven only by goodwill and not by any selfish reasons.There is practically nothing that people,who donate,can achieve which satisfies their needs and hence such acts cannot be termed as selfish.
Secondly,there are several people who contribute to charitable institutions secretly and do not even proclaim to do so.Such people are only looking to help the needy and are driven by the value of "helping those who need help".For example,several people secretly fund schools and hospitals which are solely for the poor and needy,and provide services free of cost.Such acts cannot be viewed as selfish since these institutions are run as no profit no loss organizations whose main motive is to help the needy.
Thirdly,the act of social workers cannot be viewed as selfish.They,for no incentive, work for the emancipation and upliftment of the poor and the needy.For example.Mother Teressa,who was an Austrian by birth, worked in Calcutta for several years with poor children.She worked in hospitals,taking care of sick and poor people who could not afford medical treatments on their own.After devoting more than half her lifetime ,she died and was cremated in Calcutta.She did those acts selflessly and thus such acts cannot be termed as selfish.
For all the above reasons,I firmly believe that all actions dictated by the human nature cannot be viewed as selfish.
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Schools: London Business School
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Re: Please evaluate my analysis of issue [#permalink] New post 23 Jan 2010, 11:01
mojorising800 wrote:
Human nature dictates that every action, no matter how selfless it appears, is inspired by a selfish reason.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the above opinion. Support your position with reasons and examples from your own experience, observations of others, or reading.




The issue of whether every action,no matter how selfless,is inspired by a selfish reason is controversial.On the one hand, some people suggest that a selfless act is not driven by any selfish reason.On the other hand, some other people suggest that every action,no matter how selfless it appears,is driven by selfish reasons (this statement is not adding any value). However,On ("on" i/o "On") my final analysis,I find that every selfless act is not necessarily driven by selfish reasons.
Firstly,an act of giving is the best form of a selfless act which does not have any selfish reasons associated with it.It is the most noble cause (comma should come here) and it has been prevalent in the human civilization for centuries.There is little that a person can achieve by donating to the needy and the helpless ("needy" is adjective as well as noun, so usage here is correct. But "helpless" is always an adjective, so u need a noun after it).The main reason for such an act is only goodwill and no selfish reason can justify such an act.For example, there are so many people, (wrong usage of comma) around the world, in every society (better construction - there are so many people in every society around the world who....) who donate to the charitable institutions (comma here) which in turn help the poor,needy and the homeless ("the" poor, needy and "the" homeless - not parallel because of improper usage of "the". Another mistake is - u missed comma before "and").These people are driven only by goodwill (how can "goodwill" drive anybody? "want of goodwill" may drive people) and not by any selfish reasons.There is practically nothing that people,who donate, (These two commas should not come. You necessarily need to modify "people" - only those people who donate) can achieve which (achieve what? ..... it can be constructed as "people who donate can achieve something that.....) satisfies their needs (comma here) and hence such acts cannot be termed as selfish.
Secondly,there are several people who contribute to charitable institutions secretly and do not even proclaim to do so.Such people are only looking to help the needy and are driven by the value of "helping those who need help".For example,several people secretly fund schools and hospitals which are solely for the poor and needy,and provide services free of cost.Such acts cannot be viewed as selfish since these institutions are run as no profit no loss organizations whose main motive is to help the needy.
Thirdly,the act of social workers cannot be viewed as selfish.They,for no incentive, work for the emancipation and upliftment of the poor and the needy.For example. (comma i/o full stop) Mother Teressa,who was an Austrian by birth, worked in Calcutta for several years with poor children.She worked in hospitals,taking care of sick and poor people who could not afford medical treatments on their own.After devoting more than half ("of") her lifetime ,she died and was cremated in Calcutta (why do u want to mention that she died and cremated?).She did those acts selflessly (comma here) and thus such acts cannot be termed as selfish.
For all the above reasons,I firmly believe that all actions dictated by the human nature cannot be viewed as selfish.


After full stop or comma, always give a space. Also, after each paragraph, give one line space.

Overall structure is fine. Good that u write example/examples in each paragraph. Errors can be minimized by practice. This essay should be rated 4.5 or 5.
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Manager
Manager
User avatar
Status: Its Wow or Never
Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Posts: 208
Location: India
Concentration: Technology, Strategy
GMAT 1: 670 Q47 V35
GMAT 2: 710 Q48 V40
WE: Information Technology (Computer Software)
Followers: 5

Kudos [?]: 40 [0], given: 7

GMAT Tests User
Re: Please evaluate my analysis of issue [#permalink] New post 23 Jan 2010, 11:40
TAT TraderAK..will try n use ur suggestions to improve.
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Re: Please evaluate my analysis of issue   [#permalink] 23 Jan 2010, 11:40
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