Since you posted this in the "Ask Paul" forum, I thought that I would take a shot at it.
The format of your essay is very, very lackluster. However, the sake of this exercise I will not pay too much attention to it. I only suggest that you do not submit this to any business school in its current state.
The first thing that I notice is your work experience – for the Ministry of Education and as a "teacher." There is a story behind this and I am not quite sure I know what it is. You have a solid degree from a very good University (NUS), but your finance degree does not immediately make sense when I consider your teaching experience as a professional. However, it does seem that you have some influence over syllabus and I wonder if your experience is part teaching and part administration. This is the first question mark that will be raised in the mind of any admissions committee reader.
The rest of your undergraduate academic experience appears to be excellent. There should be no issues with this or your 750 GMAT score. Of course, you already knew that, as your GPA and GMAT score are the basic hurdles and you have the past in order to be competitive in any top 25 masters program. The CFA is also another important milestone in demonstrating your intellectual capacity, as well as past achievement.
Another experience on your resume that has a multiple of influence is the "started tutoring agency" line item. It is hidden at the bottom and should really be presented as more of the work experience on par with your "teaching" experience.
Beyond this, it is really difficult for me to tell you how your candidacy will be viewed at any top finance program. It goes beyond the cursory info on your resume - the reason is that I do not know your goals, as well as personal background. Therefore it is extremely difficult, if not impossible for completely, and thus accurately, judge your candidacy. Which of course is the point of this exercise!
[Cut and paste from your original Word doc.]
National University of Singapore
Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA): Major in Finance, GMAT 750
• Graduated with Second Class (Upper Division) Honours and XX(Have not counted) grade point average in major
• Beta Gamma Sigma Honours Society
• Awarded CFA Institute scholarship
• Thesis topic: Market Anomalies in Singapore Stock Market
• Passed all three exams of CFA in 1st attempt and will be awarded a charter upon completion of work experience
• FRM Part 1 and Part 2 candidate in May 2012 Singapore
Ministry of Education, Singapore
• Taught Principles of Accounts to secondary school students. Achieved 100% pass rate and 40% distinction for N-level Principles of Accounts.
• Led infusion of financial literacy into syllabus in school
• In charge of administering financial aid to students Singapore
• Computer Skills: C++, Java, VBA, SAS, SPSS, Datastream, Bloomberg
• Passed CFMAS 1A, ACCA P4 and P5
• Volunteered at Nee Soon South Meet-the-People Sessions
• Started an online tuition agency in 2007
• Interests: Personal Investing, Photography, Cooking
Paul Lanzillotti | Founder| About | email@example.com | 877.866.9251
Schedule a Consultation | Twitter | Blog
Download "How To Apply" Guides | INSEAD | Columbia | Harvard | Wharton