fidome7 wrote:
Hey Guys.. It would be of great help if you could evaluate my essay below. Time Taken: 45 minutes, I did write an essay in 30 minutes, but it took time for me to analyse and structure the essay in a much better way. From my next essay onwards I would try to be in the time limit.
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympc Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since olympic foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."
Discuss how well reasoned... etc
Essay
The argument given for analysis is part of an annual report published by Olympic Foods, a frozen food processing company. In its annual report Olympic Foods states that over time organizations automatically learn how to do things better and hence become more efficient, therefore because of its long experience in its field, Olympic foods will be able to minize its costs and maximize its profits. Prima facie the argument seems to be valid. However on closer examination it becomes clear that the analysis provided in the annual report is not backed by solid facts and hence is a weak argument.
The most conspicuous flaw of the argument is that it considers the cost of processing for any organization will automatically fall over time and that organizations will learn how to do things better eventually with experience. It should be noted that for the costs of processing for a company to go down and for an organization to become more efficient a number of factors need to be considered and that an organization cannot automatically learn how to do things better with time. Factors such as raw material availability, proximity of processing plants to raw material sites, labour costs and overheads are some of the major factors which contribute to the processing costs of any company. [color=#ff0000]Hence by not considering these factors in its argument, it shows that Olympic Foods has adopted a myopic approach in analysing the entire scenario. Reconstruct. The sentence is ambiguous.
The argument also falters when it assumes that the working principles of a color film processing organization are similar to that of a food processing company. It is important to note that a food processing company offers completely different end products compared to a color film processing company and that factors such as cost of raw products, manufacturing costs, market reach and distribution costs are different for both the companies. (A good point- Elaborate this with a real life scenario/example) Hence automatically the working principles are also required to be different. By assuming that the working principles of both these companies are similar,it shows thatOlympic Foods has not done an in depth analysis of the entire scenario and has hastily provided conclusions.( somehow, this part does not fit. reconstruct)
The above analysis adequately proves that the argument is poorly reasoned. Had Olympic Foods done a more holistic review of the entire situation, it could have provided with more accurate analysis and given more effective, concrete and reasonable solutions as to how Olympic Foods would be able to minimise costs and maximise profits.[/color]
fidome7Essay is well written, although I would have added one more point ( something like- when it comes to food, the items are perishable- have to consume in a limited time period- may be photo films do need to worry about that too much. Costs incurred by the food industry due to rise in electricity prices/ice prices over the years, etc). Otherwise, essay is well written. It would stand anywhere between 4.5 and 5.
Also, you have jumbled the 'z' in maximize, minimize and analyze. Remember we are writing the GMAT. Using 's' may not be incorrect in general, but I doubt whether that is accepted on the GMAT.
The same thing with color/ colour, labor/labour. You have used labour. This spelling may be correct in British English, but I again doubt whether it is accepted on the GMAT.
Hope this post helps .
Hit kudos if it does
Thanks,
Rohan