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Please give me a clue how good/bad is my essay

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Author Message
Joined: 31 Dec 1969
Location: India
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Technology
GMAT 1: 710 Q49 V0
GMAT 2: 700 Q V
GMAT 3: 740 Q40 V50
GMAT 4: 700 Q48 V38
GMAT 5: 710 Q45 V41
GMAT 6: 680 Q47 V36
GMAT 7: Q42 V44
GMAT 8: Q42 V44
GMAT 9: 740 Q49 V42
GMAT 10: 740 Q V
GMAT 11: 500 Q47 V33
GMAT 12: 670 Q V
GPA: 3.3
WE: Engineering (Manufacturing)
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 176 [0], given: 99094

Please give me a clue how good/bad is my essay [#permalink]

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New post 03 Aug 2011, 02:42
1
This post was
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ARGUMENT
’The producers of the forthcoming movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it - even though that amount is far more than any other person involved in the movie will make. After all, Robin has in the past been paid a similar amount to work in several films that were very financially successful.’

ESSAY
According to the argument, forthcoming movie 3003 will be a success if producers will pay Robin Good several million dollars to play in it. In the past Robin has been paid similar amounts in several movies that were successful.

Based on the information provided, it is not possible to conclude that the movie will be a success if Robin Good will have a role in it. In following paragraphs, I will analyze flaws of the argument.

First of all, a successful movie is comprised of many components, starting with a plot and finishing with a soundtrack. Only one component cannot prescribe the outcome. In this case, producers could make a movie which shows only Robin Good on the stage. Well, this would not become a blockbuster. Before hiring an expensive actor, it necessary to make sure that all other parts of the movie are on point.

Secondly, it is important to find a suitable actor for the role. Robin might be a perfect actor for an action movie, but not imaginable as drama actor. Evaluation concerning suitability of Robin as an actor for the movie 3003 would strengthen the argument.

Thirdly, even if Robin is suitable for the role, will he be interested to take part in it? Usually star actors are extremely cautious when it comes to choosing roles. They realize that unsuitable or badly played role will damage their image dramatically. Argument should state, if Robin is eager to take the role or at least make a realistic prediction if he would be interested.

Finally, Robin has played in successful movies. But what about his roles in average or even bad movies? The fact that Robin has taken part in successful movies does not mean that all movies starring him must become blockbusters. The author should provide more substantial reasons, than just referring to past success.

There are many questions that need to be answered before author can conclude that Robin Good will be actually beneficial to the success of the forthcoming movie 3003. If problems mentioned in previous paragraph will find their answers, the argument would sound much stronger.
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Status: App Time
Joined: 30 Nov 2010
Posts: 40
Location: United States (PA)
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Technology
GMAT 1: 710 Q48 V38
GPA: 3.2
WE: Information Technology (Computer Software)
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 3 [0], given: 0

Re: Please give me a clue how good/bad is my essay [#permalink]

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New post 03 Aug 2011, 08:24
Very well written.

My only comment is to maybe add more content to your body paragraphs. You usually want something close to 400 words.

Keep practicing!!
_________________

My GMAT Story: tale-of-a-first-timer

Joined: 31 Dec 1969
Location: India
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Technology
GMAT 1: 710 Q49 V0
GMAT 2: 700 Q V
GMAT 3: 740 Q40 V50
GMAT 4: 700 Q48 V38
GMAT 5: 710 Q45 V41
GMAT 6: 680 Q47 V36
GMAT 7: Q42 V44
GMAT 8: Q42 V44
GMAT 9: 740 Q49 V42
GMAT 10: 740 Q V
GMAT 11: 500 Q47 V33
GMAT 12: 670 Q V
GPA: 3.3
WE: Engineering (Manufacturing)
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 176 [0], given: 99094

Re: Please give me a clue how good/bad is my essay [#permalink]

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New post 03 Aug 2011, 09:12
Can somebody suggest what score could I get for this essay? Thanks a lot :)
Intern
Intern
User avatar
Status: App Time
Joined: 30 Nov 2010
Posts: 40
Location: United States (PA)
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Technology
GMAT 1: 710 Q48 V38
GPA: 3.2
WE: Information Technology (Computer Software)
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 3 [0], given: 0

Re: Please give me a clue how good/bad is my essay [#permalink]

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New post 03 Aug 2011, 12:34
If I were to guess, between 5 and 6. Of course, I'm no expert.
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Re: Please give me a clue how good/bad is my essay [#permalink]

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New post 10 Jan 2016, 00:01
I am not an expert to your question but just sharing my response here. I hope this is helpful and in case anyone can comment on my response, I'll be grateful.

A recent article concluded that the producers of movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it beccause Robin has in the past been paid a similar amount to work in several films that were very financially successful. This argument, however, is flawed, most notably because it fails to take into account that the movies in which Robin Good worked had a very successful co-star or a director with a huge fan following, Robin has not done any movie in the past several years and has aged significantly since his last movie or Robin Good's earlier films had success in a different country where 3003 is not planned to be released. Therefore, over the course of following four paragraphs, this essay will discuss that the argument is weak and provide several suggestions to strengthen the conclusion.

Most notably, the article assumes that the films in which Robin worked were financially successful because of him. This may not be the case however, as it is likely that the movies in which he worked had a very successful co-star or a director with a huge fan following. Thus, the author must delve more into the team that worked in those films and show that those movies were indeed successful because of him.

Another assumption that the author makes is that Robin will be able to replicate his performance in 3003. This may not be the case, as it could be that Robin has not done any movie in the past several years and has aged significantly since his last movie. Therefore, in order to strengthen the conclusion, the author must demonstrate that Robin's successful movies were released in the recent past and he has a decent chance of replicating his performance.

Still a third assumption that is made by the author is that Robin Good's previous sucessful films were targetted at the same audience as 3003. This may not be the case as it is possible that Robin Good's earlier films had success in a different country where 3003 is not planned to be released. Therefore, to strengthen the argument, the author must clarify that intended audience for 3003 and other Robin Good movies is same.

As discussed above, the article concludes that the producers of movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it. This conclusion may not be true however, because it is possible that the movies in which Robin Good worked had a very successful co-star or a director with a huge fan following, Robin has not done any movie in the past several years and has aged significantly since his last movie or Robin Good's earlier films had success in a different country where 3003 is not planned to be released. Therefore, in order to strengthen the conclusion, the author must delve more into the team that worked in those films and show that those movies were indeed successful because of him, demonstrate that Robin's successful movies were released in the recent past and he has a decent chance of replicating his performance and clarify that intended audience for 3003 and other Robin Good movies is same.
Re: Please give me a clue how good/bad is my essay   [#permalink] 10 Jan 2016, 00:01
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Please give me a clue how good/bad is my essay

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