Please grade my 4th essay - Cumquat Cafe. thanks a ton!!

Dear experts,

Kindly grade my essay. Your feedback is much valuable and highly appreciate. Thanks and kudos in advance!

“The Cumquat Cafe began advertising on our local radio station this year and was delighted to see its business increase by 10 percent over last year’s totals. Their success shows you how you can use radio advertising to make your business more profitable.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

In the passage above the ad claims that radio advertising will make a business more profitable. However on a deeper analysis, it becomes evident that certain important and relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the assumption that an increase by 10 percent in the business is a result of the radio advertisement alone. This assumption is a stretch as the 10 percent increase in business can be attributed to other factors such as change in ownership, better promotional activities, and change in menu or closing down of a competitor. For example, if Cumquat Cafe has been distributing discount coupons for a discount on the next bill, the Cafe will see an increase in the inflow of customers as they would like to utilize the coupon. It is also possible that the strongest competitor of the Cafe had to close down its shop and the customer base of the competitor now has shifted to the Cumquat Cafe. The argument would have been much clearer if the author stated explicitly the factors that contributed towards the success of the Cumquat Cafe.
The author claims that radio advertising will make a business more profitable by referring to an increase in business of the Cumquat Cafe after it began advertising on the local radio station. This is again a weak and unsupported claim as an increase in business does not guarantee an increase in profitability. For example, if the Cumquat Cafe’s business was worth $50000 last year and the profit margin was 10 percent then the profit earned was $5000. However, this year the business increased to $55000, but because of additional initiatives to increase sales the profit margin reduced to 8 percent. This will bring down the profits to $4400, reducing it by $600. To make this argument more valid the author should mention the benefits of radio advertising to the profitability of the business.
The author also wrongly concludes that radio advertising will prove advantageous for all business as it helped in increasing the Cumquat Cafe’s business by 10 percent. The flaw in this assumption is that the author assumes that what holds true in case of Cumquat Cafe will also be true for all other business irrespective of their industry and product offerings. Even if the Cumquat Cafe’s success is attributed to radio advertising, it cannot be assumed that it will for all business. For example, the public may respond differently to radio advertisements when it comes to cafes and other business such as garments, electronics, automobiles etc. It cannot be assumed that all business will benefit from radio advertising in the same way a cafe did. To make this claim more valid the author should e

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentions all the relevant factors that contributed towards the increase in business of the Cumquat Cafe. Also, the author should provide data to strengthen his claim that an increase in business results in an increase in profitability. The author also needs to justify that radio advertising will have the same effect on other business as the Cumquat Cafe, without which his claim that radio advertising will make business successful is unsubstantiated. In order to assess the merit of a particular situation it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. Without this information the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.