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Please help me to revise my essay n what score would u give [#permalink]
25 Oct 2013, 05:32
A lot of people smoke nowadays. While some smoke to stifle their grief, others do so just for enjoyment. Whatever reason of smoking might be not everyone likes when someone is smoking near him or her. For this reason ban on smoking in public places may be considered a great solution to avoid discomfort of others. In most societies smoking in public is forbidden for many different reasons. The priority reason for prohibition of smoking in public stems from harmfulness of smoke to nonsmokers’ health. Smoking destroys person’s lungs and leads to cancer. A Cancer is an illness which is very hard to be cured. In most cases people who have cancer die. Cigarettes contain a nicotine an element that has a destructive effect on human organism. Nicotine may cause some malfulctions in our organs especially in brain. Nicotine is also noticed as influential factor for making an addiction to smoking. If you smoke continuously for one month it is likely to develop this bad habit. Since smoke emitted from cigarettes affect not just smokers but also nonsmokers, they may also start smoking. Additionally beacause of influence smoke bears to both sides risk of nonsmokers to develop lethal diseases increase. Another reason for ban on smoking in crowded places is the unpleasant long-lasting smell of cigarette smoke. Most of people are irritated by this smell. Once I went to bar where smoking was allowed. I chatted with my friend in a room full of smoke and left room an hour later. Even though I left room after one hour the displeasing odor of smoke did not seize. I washed clothes I have worn that day several times with high quality detergent and dryed them outside in cold weather for one day . However it vanished just in three days. Final reason for forbiding smoking is the potential detrimental effect it has on children. Children are extremely prone to external influence from elders. If you had a little brother or sister you probably have already observed this. So imagine if a child saw you smoking, next time he or she finds a cigarette she would repeat or try to smoke. This is the bad sign because smoking would break healthy development of a child, and probably endanger his or her future life. Smoking in public is not allowed for different reasons. It damages public health resulting in incurable ilnesses like cancer. It is the reason for repulsive odor in public. Moreover smoking in public harms the psychology of children. Taking everything mentioned into account smoking in public places mustn’t be permitted.
Re: Please help me to revise my essay n what score would u give [#permalink]
27 Nov 2013, 03:21
'' In most cases people who have cancer die.''
In most?? I thought in every! People with cancer never back to their previous life. I mean that it is a very serious illness and people die. It is a big problem of nowadays Earth' population. According to the whole essay -> NOT BAD. And I am happy to write it. If you need a professional writer for editing your works then you can use http:// goo. gl/H7fJVI By the way, there is an opportunaty for you to ask for assistance with it. Well.. your essay. There was a nice beggining of it. I'd like you to add couple sentences in the conclusion. The reasons of forbidding smoking are clear as a bright day, but a little bit turned off. Acctually I liked it but everytime you write something - show your best, try your best, do your best! Regards!
Re: Please help me to revise my essay n what score would u give
27 Nov 2013, 03:21