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# Please pls pls score my first AWA essay.

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23 Jan 2013, 17:45
“Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury’s circulation has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury is to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at least until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract
more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

The argument claims that sales of The Mercury declined since a competing lower priced newspaper The Bugle was launched five years ago. The above argument also states that The Mercury plans to overcome this situation by reducing its price, which will directly result in an increased circulation. Several key reasons that can affect The Mercury’s circulation have not been into consideration here and hence, the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence.

First, the argument readily assumes that The Mercury’s circulation declined by 10000 readers due to the price of The Bugle over a span of five years. There is no evidence provided to show that this decline was not a sudden one. For instance, it may be the case that the circulation was impacted only recently due to local distribution issues. The Mercury may have lost business with some of its local distributors who catered to a wide area and this in turn impacted the circulation. Hence, reducing the price of newspaper is not going to help in increasing the circulation figures until it makes up for the loss in the distribution network.

Secondly, price may not be the only factor due to which the circulation reduced. Newspapers are major a source of important information and any compromise on the quality of information provided will lead to adverse effects. For example, good content, latest news, up to date information on the market, weather forecasts etc are some of the reasons that influence the reader’s preferences. Clearly, the lack of good content in the newspaper is not going to help in increasing the circulation and enticing businesses to invest in ad space.

Again, one cannot deny that competitive pricing of newspapers lures businesses to invest in ad space in any paper. The argument does not provide us any evidence to support the claim that increased circulation is the only criteria that makes business invest in ad space. While business may definitely consider investing in ad space based on the circulation figures, it may also consider the brand loyalty and goodwill of the newspaper. In fact, one of the major factors that can influence the decision to invest is also the pricing that the newspaper offers for the ad space. It is not clear whether The Mercury offers competitive rates for advertising and hence, we cannot be certain that the increase in circulation is directly going to result in an increase in investment by businesses.

Therefore, we cannot be certain that reducing the price of The Mercury is going to help increase circulation and attract more investors. Without full knowledge of all the contributing factors it is hard to conclude the reasons for reduced circulation numbers. Hence, the argument is weak and flawed.
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23 Jan 2013, 18:11
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Pls pls post your essay in the AWA forum.
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24 Jan 2013, 07:38
bb wrote:
Pls pls post your essay in the AWA forum.

well, worth the 10k-th post then !
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29 Jan 2013, 23:35
bb wrote:
Pls pls post your essay in the AWA forum.

If I am not mistaken, I have posed in the AWA section. Can you please clarify where esle do I post it?
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30 Jan 2013, 00:23
this topic wasn't originally posted on this thread, but, was later moved by some mod.

coming to your essay: Your best bet is to wait for a bit and someone should definitely evaluate it. In the mean while, please go through this (if you haven't already) - how-to-get-6-0-awa-my-guide-64327.html

Best
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02 Feb 2013, 23:23
@ Moderators

Not a single moderator posted their feedback as yet....pls tell me where are you guys??? Do i have to paste something absolute random to get ur attention???
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05 Feb 2013, 13:25
OK, I did a quick read. It's actually pretty good. The reasoning could be made more precise.

Quote:
First, the argument readily assumes that The Mercury’s circulation declined by 10000 readers due to the price of The Bugle over a span of five years.

Revise English, particularly "due to the price... over a span..."
What does "over a span of five years" modify? The price?

Quote:
There is no evidence provided to show that this decline was not a sudden one. For instance, it may be the case that...

may have been the case?

Quote:
Hence, reducing the price of newspaper is not going to help in increasing the circulation figures until it makes up for the loss in the distribution network.

Why? It may still help.

Quote:
Clearly, the lack of good content in the newspaper is not going to help in increasing the circulation and enticing businesses to invest in ad space.

First of all, how do you know that Mercury lacks good content? Secondly, there are plenty of journals and newspapers that lack good content, but are very popular and successfully sell ad space. How about the Playboy?

Quote:
Again, one cannot deny that competitive pricing of newspapers lures businesses to invest in ad space in any paper. The argument does not provide us any evidence to support the claim that increased circulation is the only criteria that makes business invest in ad space.

Of course, it is not the only criterion. So what?

Quote:
While business may definitely consider investing in ad space based on the circulation figures, it may also consider the brand loyalty and goodwill of the newspaper. In fact, one of the major factors that can influence the decision to invest is also the pricing that the newspaper offers for the ad space.

Yes. How is this relevant, though?

Quote:
It is not clear whether The Mercury offers competitive rates for advertising and hence, we cannot be certain that the increase in circulation is directly going to result in an increase in investment by businesses.

What if it does offer competitive rates? Can we then be certain that the increase in circulation will attract more business?

Quote:
Without full knowledge of all the contributing factors it is hard to conclude the reasons for reduced circulation numbers.

We are not really interested in the reason for reduced circulation numbers as much as in deciding what to do.

Quote:
Hence, the argument is weak and flawed.

How would you improve it?
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13 Apr 2014, 03:00
Hi!

Could you please score my AWA essay? I would appreciate specifics on the reasoning, flaw selection, etc., along with the score. Thank you very much.

“Our promotional price reductions on energy drinks have been highly successful, as we have seen a dramatic increase in unit sales. Further, surveys of our consumers indicate that this promotion was favorably received by the majority of our customers. Therefore, to improve our company’s profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of consumers, similar price reductions should be offered on all drinks produced by our firm.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

MY RESPONSE:
The manufacturer's conclusion that reducing prices of all drinks would increase the company's profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of its consumers is based on many questionable factors and there is little factual evidence to substantiate the inference.

Firstly, the manufacturer presumes that the promotional price reductions caused the increase in unit sales and states nothing to provide support for this assumption. Some other factor could very well be the driving force in increasing sales. For instance, if the unit sales of energy drinks has increased across all companies that manufacture energy drinks then something else other than the drop in price is the cause it. The author can strengthen this evidence by providing evidence that shows that the price reduction is indeed the cause.

Secondly, the author fails to mentions any details of the data set that was used for the survey, so it is likely that the consumers who took the survey were not well representative of the entire consumer base. For example, if the number was actually considerably smaller than the actual consumer base then it is insufficient to draw conclusion based on the data collected. Further, the survey could have targeted only the consumers who were price sensitive thereby producing biased results. The author should have provided information on how the survey was conducted.

Thirdly, nothing is mentioned about the margins on all the drinks. Perhaps some have lower margins than others which would ultimately result in a loss. Also, nothing is mentioned about the length of the promotion, which is also a crucial factor to consider.

Lastly, dropping prices of all drinks could result in consumers doubting the quality of product and may seem desperate and this would have an adverse effect.

Based on the above mentioned points, the conclusion drawn by the manufacturer is weak.

SERGEY, could you read and rate mine, too? Thank you.
Re: Please pls pls score my first AWA essay.   [#permalink] 13 Apr 2014, 03:00
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