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Please rate - Apogee Company

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Please rate - Apogee Company [#permalink] New post 25 Sep 2013, 01:47
"When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable
than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and
conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve
profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all
employees."

Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc

->

The argument that the company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location is weak and unconvincing. The author assumes that conducting all operations from a single location would improve the company's profitability. This might not be true, as it possible that the reason for the decline in profit is not derive from the uncentralization.

In order to strengthen the argument, I would like to conduct a customers survey, checking whether such centralization would cause the customers to decrease the orders from Apogee Company. If it is found that the customers are not planning to decrease their reservations, than it could serve to show that the centralization would improve the company's profitability.
Another thing I would like to review is whether the costs of the field offices are higher than their revenues. If it is found that the costs are higher than the revenues, it could support the centraliziation.

In his argument, the author assumes that the decline in profits derives from the field offices costs, but leaves out the possibility that the profit decline is due to other parameters such as poor service or competition. Moreover, while the argument states that the centralization would maintain better supervision for all the employees, it fails to take into account the fact that in today's modern world the more uncentralized the company is, the better the supervision of employees is performed.

In summary the argument presented is neither sound nor persuasive as it lies on questionable assumptions about the reason the company's profits decline, lacks important data about the customers response as well as the income and costs of the field offices, and fails to take into account possible alternative explanations for the profits decline.
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Re: Please rate - Apogee Company [#permalink] New post 25 Sep 2013, 18:55
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I'd say this is somewhere around a 4. I'd love to see a greater variety in sentence length -- and also follow a basic five paragraph structure... Intro/3 Body/Conclusion.

Hope this helps.

-Brian
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Brian Lange | Manhattan GMAT Instructor | North Carolina


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Re: Please rate - Apogee Company [#permalink] New post 27 Sep 2013, 12:28
brianlange77 wrote:
I'd say this is somewhere around a 4. I'd love to see a greater variety in sentence length -- and also follow a basic five paragraph structure... Intro/3 Body/Conclusion.

Hope this helps.

-Brian


Thanks Brian.
Can you be more specific about the 3 body paragraphs. If the first is strengthen and the second is weaknes, what should be the third?
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Re: Please rate - Apogee Company [#permalink] New post 28 Sep 2013, 17:32
Expert's post
Let me know if my answer is an oversimplification -- but I don't think you should automatically assume that one paragraph is a strengthen and one is a weaken. You might need several points of strength -- or you might want to attack the argument in different ways. You need at least three support paragraphs.

Thoughts?

-Brian
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Brian Lange | Manhattan GMAT Instructor | North Carolina


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Intern
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Re: Please rate - Apogee Company [#permalink] New post 01 Oct 2013, 06:46
brianlange77 wrote:
Let me know if my answer is an oversimplification -- but I don't think you should automatically assume that one paragraph is a strengthen and one is a weaken. You might need several points of strength -- or you might want to attack the argument in different ways. You need at least three support paragraphs.

Thoughts?

-Brian



Hi Brian,
I read your comments and tried to implement them.
Please read my new AWA and tell me what do you think.
p.s: I tried to make it into 5 paragraphs but couldnt find the third support/flaw.

“Neither stronger ethics regulations nor stronger enforcement mechanisms are
necessary to ensure ethical behavior by companies doing business with this
department. We already have a code of ethics that companies doing business with
this department are urged to abide by, and virtually all of these companies have
agreed to follow it. We also know that the code is relevant to the current business
environment because it was approved within the last year, and in direct response to
specific violations committed by companies with which we were then working—not
in abstract anticipation of potential violations, as so many such codes are.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

->

The argument claims that the companies who are doing business with the department are following a certain ethical code that is acceptable by the department. Therefore, there is no need for stronger regulations or stronger mechanisms to ensure the company's ethical behavior. This conclusion is based on the fact that the companies who agreed to follow the ethical code are actually following it. In addition, the author claims that the code is relevant to the current business environment. The author based this claim on the fact that the code was approved within last year in a response to specific violations of the code. Although at first the arguments may seem to make common sense, the author relies on several assumptions that may not necessarily apply to his argument. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

The first issue to be address is the assumption that the companies who have agreed to follow the code are actually following it. This assumption is weak since it is well known that in today's business environment an agreement which is not enforced tends to be broken. Furthermore, a recent study shows that in the last 10 years 95% of the agreements that were not enforced have been broken. On the contrary, the study shows that only 5% of the agreements that were enforced have been broken. Therefore, without data about the actual number of agreements that were broken or at least their percentage out of the total agreements, this assumption fails to support the author's conclusion.

Second, the argument claims that the code is relevant because it was approved within the last year in direct response to specific violations that committed by the companies that used to work with the department. In this argument the author assumes that the department has encountered enough violations to make the code relevant. However, there is high possibility that the department has not experienced enough violations and therefore the code is irrelevant. If the author had provided evidence that the department has encountered a large number of violations, it could serve to strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.

In conclusion, the argument presented is flawed and not persuasive. It could be considerably strengthened if the author had provided the missing data that I mentioned above. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all the relevant factors.

Thanks
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Re: Please rate - Apogee Company [#permalink] New post 26 Oct 2013, 18:27
Expert's post
I think it's a move in the right direction -- although I think you could easily find a strengthen/weaken opportunity out of the first sentence, no?
Thanks.
-Brian
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Brian Lange | Manhattan GMAT Instructor | North Carolina


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Re: Please rate - Apogee Company   [#permalink] 26 Oct 2013, 18:27
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