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Please Rate! Issue Analysis

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Intern
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Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Posts: 39
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Kudos [?]: 10 [0], given: 11

Please Rate! Issue Analysis [#permalink] New post 21 Nov 2010, 14:26
This is my first essay! Please rate!

In few countries telivision and radio programs are censored for offensive language and behaviour and
in few countires its not. In this discussion I would like to make arugments for and against censorship
in following way.


Issues like Pro-Gay Rights/Pro-Abortion etc might be offensive to some, while other might feel they are
reasonable by being 'for' them. When such issues are covered on TV and radio do they qualify to become
offensive, just cause they are offensive to select few? Also who decides what is offensive and what is not?
The terms Offensive and Harmful can vary depending on the culture, region, religion, generation etc of the
particular society.

Freedom of speech and expression have a better history in free western societies , however in counties
like India the idea of freedom of expression should be taken with a grain of salt. Strong language and
visuals evoke extreme emotions amongs the viewers and often extreme sides are taken. In India, in the
past, most of the communal riots have gone from bad to worse. When such such an event is covered on
TV, the extreme opinions and views being aired in the media didn't help the situation. And hence it is reasonable
to expect meaningful (self imposed or externally regulated) censorship on sensitive issues.

It should also be noted that our children should be protected from violent images, ideas and pornographic content.
Here censorship can prove to be an effective tool by reducing the risk of exposure.

It should also be noted that when the power of censorship goes into the hands of powerful interests, news and
facts can be distorted to portray the wrong picture for reasons of propoganda. Authorarian goverments world
over have used the power of selective censorship to evoke emotions and responses favourable to them, by distorting
the truth. So in a way selective censorship is allowing disempowerement of people. As an example I would like to
take 2009 FIFA world cup where North Korea allowed telecast the match which they won, while they conveniently
stopped the telecast of the match which they lost.


An Approach to censorship should not be a seen in a "One size fits all" prism. In an ideal world there should be no
censorship cause it is in conflict with Freedom of Expression and Speech. Freedom of speech and expression
should take precedence over censorship, however it can be beneficial to the society if censorship is exercised
with wisdom.
Veritas Prep GMAT Instructor
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Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Posts: 207
Followers: 97

Kudos [?]: 212 [0], given: 20

Re: Please Rate! Issue Analysis [#permalink] New post 08 Dec 2010, 17:41
Hey rockroars,

Pretty solid essay! Actually, one thing that stands out as an example of what I've commented on in the past - you didn't include the question stem itself, but by paraphrasing the question stem in that first paragraph you made it easy for the reader to know what your topic is. Really nice job there.

One thing that would really help your essay is if you led with transitions for your body paragraphs. Right now each paragraph kind of stands on its own, and at a quick glance it's hard to know exactly what you're arguing. But you could say:

One thing to consider when a country weighs censorship is...

Another consideration should be...

And, actually, I might even recommend being really transparent with the aim of each paragraph:

One reason to favor censorship is...

Another argument in favor of censorship is...

Conversely, censorship can become a problem if...

Additionally, censorship is also problematic because

Therefore, censorship should be considered on a case-by-case....

Make it really clear to the reader what your intent is with each paragraph and it will be much easier to read.

One other quick criticism ( before I tell you that overall the quality of your ideas was great!) is that the third body paragraph probably needs 1-2 more sentences and an example...it just doesn't fit with the rest as it is, and the thought seems to hang a little bit.

Overall you had great ideas and came to a good conclusion based on them...I could see this as a 5 or so, particularly if you add those transitions, which would probably even bump it up to 5.5.


I hope that helps...
_________________

Brian

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Intern
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Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Posts: 39
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Kudos [?]: 10 [0], given: 11

Re: Please Rate! Issue Analysis [#permalink] New post 09 Dec 2010, 01:18
Perfect! Thanks :) I appreciate your feed back!
Re: Please Rate! Issue Analysis   [#permalink] 09 Dec 2010, 01:18
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