Please Rate! Issue Analysis : Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA)
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Please Rate! Issue Analysis

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Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Posts: 39
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Kudos [?]: 21 [0], given: 11

Please Rate! Issue Analysis [#permalink]

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New post 21 Nov 2010, 15:45
This is my Second Issue Analysis. Please give your comments.

The primary responsibility of citizens is to obey their nation’s civil and criminal laws.
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons
and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

The issue statement states that the primary responsibility of citizen is to obey their nation's civil and criminal laws. My take on the issue would be as following.

Most countries in the world have a Rule of Law defined for themselves, if these laws are not followed the Rule of Law will fail and Anarchy will previal. Thus follwing rules is quint-essential to smooth functioning of a social system. Also for citizens of a country, observing the "Spirit of Law" is more important than obeying "Letter of the law"

The debtable part of the issue statement is what kind of 'Law and Rules' are people of a country obligated to follow and obey?

In Nazi Germany, there were many laws which excluded the Jews and other groups, they were subjected to social exclusion, many of the laws were racial in nature. Such laws go very much against the nature of Human values. Few authoritarian goverments supress their populace in name of ideology, if the people dont observe disobedience they can never free them selves from the clutches of supressive regimes. India and America would have never got their independence had they obeyed and followed the Rules laid by the Colonial British. Laws which promote and endorse social excusion should be opposed with full force.

What is legal today could be illegal tomorrow and vice versa, as an example Slave Trade was legal in before 18th Century in Britain. That didn't necessarily make it a right thing to do before it was made illegal. An other example is same sex marriage, which is gaining acceptance is few free societies.

The rule of law continuously keeps evolving, The citizens of a nation should observe laws which are just and disobey which are unjust and fight for their amendments.
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Re: Please Rate! Issue Analysis [#permalink]

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New post 22 Nov 2010, 15:46
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Hey rockroars,

A good start here, and the quality of your thoughts on the subject is commendable! To do much better than a score of 4 or so, though, I'd like to see you:

1) Focus on the structure of your essay and on transition words that make the structure easy to recognize. Try to have a clear thesis paragraph that includes a word like "therefore" or "thus" to signal the reader as to your intentions in the essay. Then, try to lead your support paragraphs with words like "For example"' "Also", "Another", etc. Make it easy for the reader to see what you're trying to do - organization on these essays tends to be more valuable than does style and even content.

2) Have at least two (or, really, three) sentences per (well-organized) paragraph. That not only looks better and more well-reasoned, but also forces you to develop each claim that you make and leads to a stronger overall essay.

3) This may just be my style, but I'd begin the essay by paraphrasing the topic and not by saying "The essay topic says that...". Write it as though someone other than simply a GMAT grader is reading it - by showing that you can write to an audience you'll write a more persuasive essay that's less clinical and more thought out.

If you can implement these ideas the quality of your thoughts is great and you can probably get to a 5 or so just by better organizing and better developing what you already have to say. I hope that helps...


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Joined: 18 Mar 2010
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Re: Please Rate! Issue Analysis [#permalink]

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New post 23 Nov 2010, 13:46
Thank You Brian! I appreciate you taking time to give a detailed response. I will try to work on suggested areas of improvements.
When I was reading the 5-6 pointer essays, I realized my structure was poor. But I am having trouble little trouble memorizing the standard expressions, even if I did manage to memorize a few, I am struggling to tailor my sentences around them.
Re: Please Rate! Issue Analysis   [#permalink] 23 Nov 2010, 13:46
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Please Rate! Issue Analysis

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