in my opinion you made a good start with the opening paragraph, and took a strong stand.
but from there on there are just too many statistics and information relating to newer breakthroughs in energy conservation and efforts taken by different countries to reduce energy consumption. some of the points were quite relevant and these should have been used to form a logic which would have strengthened your stand.
"Countries like United states, Japan, United Kingdom, India, Iran, European union, Srilanka etc have come up with strategies to reduce power consumption"
Here you could have shown how international cooperation between these countries can lead to better results.
"Scientists are constantly researching for alternative energy sources for future generations"
how can intl cooperation lead to more fruitful results in such researches.
more logics should have been formed why the burden of energy conservation should not be dropped on onto the shoulders of a single nation or a small group of nations. how will intl cooperation will lead to better results?
hope this helps