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Please rate my essay from MGMAT Mock exam 5

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Please rate my essay from MGMAT Mock exam 5 [#permalink] New post 16 Feb 2014, 07:31
Hi!

For this time, i'm running the GMAT exam in the background and make sure that I've followed the time limit.

I don't think i have many good ideas about this topic so I just try to make it logical as much as i can.

Thanks for reviewing!

Read the statement(s) and the instructions that follow, and then make any notes that will help you plan your response. Begin typing your response in the box at the bottom of the screen.

The following appeared in a medical magazine:
"Art and music have long been understood to have therapeutic effects for individuals who suffer from either physical or mental illnesses. However, most doctors rarely recommend to patients some form of art or music therapy. Instead, doctors focus almost all of their attention on costly drug treatments and invasive procedures that carry serious risks and side-effects. By focusing on these expensive procedures rather than low-cost treatments such as art and music therapy, doctors are doing a disservice to their patients and contributing to the rising cost of health care in the United States."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

answer:
The argument tries to convey that doctors should recommend art and music therapy as a form of treatment to physical or mental illness and that by by not doing so they are adding to the rising cost of health care in the United States. However the point made is not convincing because they only discuss the issues on a surface level.

Firstly, it is mentioned that art and music have long been understood to have therapeutic effects for individuals who suffer from either physical or mental illness but the effectiveness of such type of treatment is not discussed in details. If art or music therapy is only effective to lessen the effect of the patient's physical or mental illness then the treatment isn't really suitable.

Secondly, the argument continues with doctors often proceed with drug treatment and invasive procedures to treat the patient's illness and that these procedures carry risks and side-effect, however the side effect or risk from treating with art and music therapy is not discussed in the argument as well. For example, certain illness, such as cancer, are time sensitive and by not detecting and acting on them earlier could mean the difference between a minor surgery and a death sentence.

Thirdly, the argument is trying to point out that as doctors do not recommend art and music therapy as a treatment, they are doing a disservice to their patients and contributing to the rising cost of health care in the United States which is inconclusive because the cost of art and music therapy is not elaborated. The cost to provide art and music therapy might not be cheap as well, plus the time frame it would take to provide such treatment to the patients could also be more costly.

In summary, the point being made in the argument is not completely convincingly unless the counter points that have been made above is properly dealt with.
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Please rate my essay from MGMAT Mock exam 5   [#permalink] 16 Feb 2014, 07:31
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